Brakh by Hermannesque


Brakh‘s an archer by trade, but it’s not like he’s completely helpless with a sword and board, as evidenced by this screenie. Especially when that board has spikes on it.

Now, I wasn’t aware Orcs used actual boards as shields, but I imagine it would be fun to carve messages in the wood like “CAUTION: ORC” and “YOU SHALL NOT PASS” and “ELISIF + ULFRIC” with a little heart around it. I would just put some words in very small print, maybe an eye chart, something your foes have to squint to read and it’s only then they realize it says “LOOK OUT!” but at this point the warning is just a courtesy because they’re already dead.

When you have nothing but a knife, some wood, and free time, these are the things you do.

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Happy Birthday America!


Here’s some fake poster/cards I photoshopped of the three male followers in the bundle. As you may have noticed, for you have a keen eye for such things, they are colored red, white, and blue, the colors of America. Also France. And Liberia. And Taiwan. And Iceland. And North Korea. Okay, so maybe the color scheme isn’t entirely original, but the point is, nobody cares. Not here in America.

For today we dine on hot dogs and buffalo wings and other animals that we hunted to extinction. Why? Because we can. There are no sad toy pianos playing America the Beautiful, for it would burst into flames in protest. No, the music of freedom can only be heard through thunderous explosions, played via a symphony of illegal Chinese fireworks. There is nothing more American than that.

Stargazing by Siempre

Screenshot by Siempre

Here is Siempre‘s Dragonborn and Valgus enjoying a starry night. I suppose this is when Valgus points out a constellation and tells some romantic story about Alindra’s Tears. If it were me, I’d probably interrupt him to mention how the stars aren’t stars but holes in Aetherius and how it’d be kind of funny if some great big monster peeked his eye through said hole, or worse yet a penis. Also, Alindra and the Soldier is a story from Dragon Age, not Elder Scrolls. Seriously Valgus, are we even looking at the same sky? And now I’ve spoiled the mood.