It was good to take Meresine to Helgen. I wrote some new dialogue, we took some photos. It was all very touristy, but worth the trip. And this is where the famed Dragonborn was nearly executed back in the 4th era. はいチーズ！

As a dragon aficionado, I’m sure Meresine was very excited to be there. Look at her. She can hardly contain herself. But really, would it hurt you to smile every now and then? Oh right, I made you this way. Sorry. As for Serana, I have no idea where she went. But I figured it was best to let her play by herself and raise butterflies while the adults were talking. Of course, letting her run around can be problematic during the day, because apparently she’s gotten it in her head that she can outrun the sun.

After leaving Helgen, Serana did eventually pop up from behind a mountain. You’ll notice she’s fully airborne, but as to why, I have no idea. She’s completely insane and wears a cape, so I guess she doesn’t need a reason. In any case, after finding the sun to be much faster than anticipated, Serana decides the only way to save her precious skin is to wear a mask. No, I’m kidding, Serana would never do something so sensible. Nope, she decides she just needs to train harder, and continues circling Helgen while the rest of us sit on our hands. Of course, the real problem is that after multiple laps it eventually worked.

As you can see, by the time she reaches us Serana manages to eclipse the speed of light, technically outrunning the sun as per her original plan. Which of course, makes the rest of us look mighty foolish for criticizing it in the first place. 

This really isn’t going to help our case the next time she tells us that the Helgen attack was an inside job. No Serana, that’s stupid. You’re stupid. Hmph, says the guy who thought I couldn’t outrun the sun. Now who’s laughing.

As always, the lesson here is that Serana is loopy.

On the way back to Falkreath, we spotted this noble whose pet horse was engaged in poopy time. You can tell this horse is very courteous, because it made sure to saunter over to the bushes before proceeding to defecate. The road stays clean, the grass gets fertilized, it’s a win-win.

If only the horse’s master showed similar etiquette. Upon arriving at Falkreath, the noble repeatedly tried to enter the inn without even bothering to dismount, as if to say I AM RICH I CAN DO ANYTHING, WATCH ME PEASANTS AS I RIDE INTO THIS INN ON HORSEBACK. However, his garish boasts backfired when his horse refused to enter the establishment, telling its master neiiiiiiiiiigh or something to that effect.

After staring at the door for about an hour, eventually the noble gave up and decided to Serana his way out of existence.

I suppose when you’re that wealthy you can afford to double park your horse and let the city tow it to the glue factory. Still, the fact that this is the second person to now eclipse the speed of light in a single day is troubling. And unlike Serana, this guy didn’t even have to build up any momentum.

As for Serana herself, she spent most of her time in Falkreath staring at this riveting section of plywood. Yes Serana, that’s a wall. They make it out of trees. Gods you’re weird.

After leaving Falkreath and doing some minor tweaks to Jerulith and Melea, I decided to pick up Daenlyn Oakhollow on the way to Halfmoon Mill. On the way, we helped Valdr bury his friends – well, we would’ve if Serana hadn’t turned them into ash piles. Good job, Serana. For the love Talos.

Anyhow, the team dispatched the uppity Altmer and freed Daenlyn to take on our adventure. Upon dismissing Meresine, she immediately summoned her horse – as in all by itself, the thing galloped on over to her like some advanced pet trick – which was kind of badass. I didn’t know she could do that.  In these instances, I don’t question Skyrim, I just go with it. In any case, it’s time to get Daenlyn some new clothes, and more importantly, new lines. See you next…I wanna say…week? Who knows.