A while back Bioware did a contest where amateur voice actors could audition for a role in the upcoming Dragon Age game. I have no idea who won, but it’s not anyone I know so obviously whoever was picking was drunk.
Nah, that’s a joke, the winners are probably great, and sometimes these choices come down to things you can’t control, like the sound of your voice or the hive of bees in the casting director’s ear. Anyways, at the time I didn’t want to pick favorites, but seeing as the contest is over, I decided to scour the GOOGLES and look for some auditions.
Well, it turns out most of the actors did not make their auditions public. Either that or I am really bad at finding them. Some people may have taken them down as well in a fit of rage. Which is a shame now that I am writing this blog post. This is all about me, after all.
Okay, it’s really about the wonderful actors who I’m lucky to have working on the project. First to bat is Jessica Osborne being awesome as usual. I like how there’s text on this one so I can read the other person’s lines. Otherwise you’re just a crazy person talking to no one. Well played, my friend, well played.
Here’s my podcast partner Alice Bell telling the Inquisitor where to find the motherfucking door. Now, at first I thought her use of a plain black screen was just general laziness and/or indifference, which is something I can appreciate. But the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced it’s pure genius.
With a black screen, you pay more attention to the voice and the acting. It’s kind of like staring at some modern art piece in a museum. At first you’re like “Psssh!” but then later you’re like “Hmmmmm.” Anyways the moral of the story is Alice can do no wrong. You understand me, police? She has diplomatic immunity.
Another thing I noticed is that the only auditions that were posted on Youtube were women. Now we know who has the balls in the 3DNPC family. Anyways, I love Cassandra’s emotion as always, you can tell why she makes an excellent hypochondriac. But the thing that I’m most curious about is the photoshopped III in the video.
It’s like “Fuck, there is no way I’m acknowledging the previous game’s existence. Not. A. Chance. In fact, I am going to take my MSPAINT tool and just blur that fucker out.” Which I totally get by the way, although I may have exaggerated when I said the game was bad. I mean for one, I really, really like the characters in DA2. Varric Tethras alone is worth the price of purchase. And…and…some of my best friends are DA2 NPCs. Although one of them is Alistair. Please don’t hate me.
This video has #TheRealEldawyn and jokes and cats. It’s amazeballs. But really, everyone did great. And they all would’ve gotten cast too, if it weren’t for those rotten bees.