Forever Alone at the Top of the World


Let me tell you about a Nord named Hagravi. Found in Ivarstead. Face of a hagraven. Relationship status, unmarried. That’s right, not one person in the known cyberverse has married him. Can’t say the same for Veralene. Or Dagri’lon. Or Skjel. But not a bad guy. Perhaps it’s time you got to know him.

He once taught a horker to play the ukele. Unafraid to wear pink, but not a fan of pleather. Likes avocados. Autumn is his favorite season and word. Swears the best Vietnamese food he ever had was in a strip mall in rural Louisiana. Can tell Masser from Secunda. Respects his elders, mother nature, and a woman’s right to brawl.

Believes in honest pay for honest work. Likes to chew on straws of wheat. Favorite music is the sound of the ocean. Favorite book is The Odyssey. Has seen the world but isn’t annoying about it. Would turn off his cell phone in the movie theater if he wasn’t in the library. Still hasn’t read a book. Remembers an acquaintance’s birthday, might forget their name. Drinks his coffee black. Never speeds through a yellow light. Has a soft spot for orphans. Loves to laugh.

Only hunts for food, never for sport. Always lets the bugs outside, never squashes them. Bad with directions, good when you direct him. Won’t leave the toilet seat up a second time. Knows the difference between a Koto and a Guqin. Made chicken soup the night you got the flu. Dislikes the concept of autographs, prefers to shake your hand. Once said “I love you” on the first date and managed to not make it weird. Likes telling stories. Never gives away spoilers.

Will volunteer to use the shitty, knock-off controller. Never calls shotgun before the car is in range. Will sleep outside before crashing on your couch. Washes his hands before he cooks, covers his mouth when he coughs. Has a temper but rarely shows it. Prefers dogs to cats, but respects the feline’s sense of adventure. Cleans out the lint from the dryer. Takes out the trash without prompting. Calls it how he sees it. Believes breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Uses the constellations as a compass. Still bad with directions.

Always uses a coaster. Will hold his cup in absence of one. Will politely hand a mic to the next performer. Will never, ever, drop it. Always uses his turn signals before switching lanes.Thinks the gods are painters. Knows good art when he sees it. Forgave his parents for leaving him. Doesn’t blame Yoko Ono. Gives out the good candy on Halloween. Never owned a camera. Takes pictures with his eyes. Stores them in his heart.

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13 thoughts on “Forever Alone at the Top of the World

  1. Damn it Kris, you make it sound like noone took his time to talk to him (I have to confess: I didn’t talk all too much with him, in hindsight this ought to have been a mistake…)…. Writing like this you could make that racisst a** in Windhelm sound nice ;-)

  2. As for me, I like Hagravi, really. While my PCs never marry him (because they always marry their followers) they surely enjoy his stories and say “hi” every time they are in Ivarstead.

    P.S.: Still, Dagri’Lon is the main charmer of 3DNPCs ^_^ You once told, that you lost fan patch with marriage option for him… That is The Loss of a Century for me D:

  3. Yeah much easier to marry a follower. Never thought of him much as a marriage candidate because he sided with Grellod the kind. Made me wonder if I’d one day come home with the kids chained up in the basement for punishment.

  4. My current character is married to Hagravi, believe it or not. I admit to having a soft spot for old Valgus (married him three times in playthroughs) but Hagravi won the day this time. And he hasn’t chained any of the children up yet.

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