Spambots and Author Privileges

Raising this roof
Can I get a what-what?

Okay, I think I’ve finally figured out which users are people and which are spambots, but if I gave one of them author privileges then I apologize in advance for the porn. Or if it’s good porn, then you’re welcome. The spambot may or may not be promoted to editor, depending on which.

( If you’re curious, the last spammer that got the keys to the kingdom posted a picture of cockroaches or something on the front page, that guy was eliminated. So we’ll see.)

As for the rest of you bloodbags (humans are not meatbags we are mostly water other robots do you even math?), you should now all be able to make posts (check with me for formatting guidelines) and rank your followers, the results of which will be updated and put in the right sidebar.  Individual follower rankings can be found here and on the bottom of the left sidebar. Click on a user to sort by their rankings.

If you haven’t met a follower or done a quest, you can remove them from the list and the number will not count toward the overall total.

 

Character Profile – Relic

When Jay33721 approached me with an idea for a droid powered by a black soul gem, I had my doubts. Not in the validity of the idea, the authenticity of the voice or any other of the eleven flavors of awesome he provided, but it needed a writer to make it an even dozen. I didn’t know jack shit about computers. When a voice actor’s computer got stricken with a virus, I told her to stick a Tylenol in the USB slot and check its temperature in the morning.

Fortunately, about a week later Roarian was getting involved in doing some scripting for the mod. As a programmer with enough fanfiction to build a bridge to Mars, it seemed like a good match, and it was. When I got the script, I realized just how much my pathetic modding skills were limiting my NPCs. At the time, I didn’t even know how to condition for race, and Roarian was accounting for race, sex, class, and what color tunic the player liked to wear on Loredas mornings.

Not to mention as a programmer, Roarian could involve the player in ways my monkey brain could only dream of. With Relic, Roarian was able to devise a quest that centered around  three separate personalities – good, evil, and damaged. Taking this idea further, Jay used his editing skills to make three separate voice types, with the damaged one stuttering to emphasize its brokenness. Moreover, the player’s ability to use Dwarven smithing would factor into the result, as well as the player’s moral alignment. Yet the most brilliant aspect Roarian included was adding the Briarheart script to Relic’s soul gem, which meant stealing it would strip it of its very life force.  When I tested it and the droid crumbled to the floor, I had to pinch myself to keep from squealing like a little girl.

As an editor, most of the script was beyond my knowledge, and that’s a good thing.  Subroutines? I don’t even know what a subroutine is. I diversified some of the player questions, but for the most part left everything as is. The one thing I did feel needed to be changed, however, was a single word.

Meatbag.

Roarian included it as an homage to the great HK-47. Although I had some concern that people would consider Relic an imitation, given our droid had 3 distinct personalities, any argument that the two were identical would be specious. My larger concern was with the term “meatbag” itself. After all, when HK-47 used the term repeatedly, he didn’t sound like a droid, at least not to me. He sounded like a human being pretending to be a droid.  That distinction is important.

Human beings are very visual people. Outwardly, all we see is the flesh and flab. That’s why we think a robot would mock our inherent softness, our distinct lack of metal. Except there’s one problem with that. The actual composition of human beings is roughly about 60-70% water. Not flesh, not fat, but water. A robot would not look at the math and call us bags of meat. A real robot would not make such a terrible miscalculation.

Hence, Relic wouldn’t either.  Roarian made the slight alteration, and with that, our metal maybe-monster was born.

Meet the Actor – Jay33721

Jay was one of the early contributors to the mod, and has probably recorded more lines and worn more hats than just about anyone.  He provides unique voices, ideas for characters, and the occasional interesting anecdote.  In short, the dude wears a lot of hats.  Where does he find all these hats?  Surely not at the hat store.  That place is a wreck.

However, I would say that for all his headgear and versatility, what makes Jay truly unique is his dependability.  You may notice Rumarin and Dagri’lon always have their lines updated.  That’s because I can dump 1000 lines in Jay’s inbox and I know they will all be voiced by morning.  Such is his appetite for voice work.  I am convinced he is part dragon.  He even had time in his busy schedule flying about the neighborhood and chatting with Aela to answer a few questions.

You were the inspiration for a lot of abnormal characters.  Dagri’lon, Relic, Iorel, Averna, Fjona’s Familiar. Do you enjoy bizarre NPCs like robots, ghosts and the undead?
Oh, yes! Very much so. I guess I’m just a sucker for the strange and fantastical. I like to escape into an alternate reality whenever I play games, and weird and wonderful NPCs just sweeten the pot for me. Now that I think about it, this was probably all started by the follower Shale, from Dragon Age. She’s awesome.

As one of the early contributors, how did you find the mod?
Honestly, I can’t remember all that well. I think I was searching the Nexus for some or other NPC mod, and it popped up as a result. Naturally, it piqued my curiosity, and, well, I thought it was an awesome idea. Turns out I was right!

What sort of character do you like to play?
I like two types of character builds: Spellsword, where I usually go around wielding a one-handed weapon in one hand (No! Really? Heehee) and a destruction spell in the other. Something explosive, preferably. The other build is your average overpowered tank. Two-handed weapon, heavy armour, protection amulets – the works.

My favourite race is Nord. I don’t know why, but they’re the only ones I can get to look pretty enough for my tastes. My second favourite is the Altmer. They’re just so… regal.

My playing style is mostly questing. I get as many quests as I can, completing them as I go. Occasionally, when that gets repetitive, I’ll go exploring, accidentally getting myself killed about a hundred times along the way.

I am most definitely a hoarder. My carry weight is usually the first thing to be enhanced by an enchantment and my homes are always filled up with useless crap!

Do you have a favorite character in the mod?
My favourite character of the ones I voiced has to be Rumarin. His happy-go-lucky attitude and twisted sense of humour are just priceless.

From the others, I’d have to say it’s a tie between Zora and Ingarte. Zora, because she’s so terribly cute and deliciously tortured. Ingarte because, well, she’s a salty wench!

Did you try repairing Relic?  How did it go?
Yes, I did try. I ended up breaking him. So I reloaded an earlier save and vowed to come back with a higher Smithing skill. When I finally got around to doing that, I decided to sabotage him, simply because of the hilariousness of the bad personality.

What in the world is a 33721?
They’re my favourite numbers. 3 (twice, because I like it so much), 7 and 21.

Do you have a favorite alchemy ingredient?
I really don’t use Alchemy that often, but if I had to choose, I’d say the Daedra Heart. It’s just so… Eeeeeevil.

Would you rather have a potato for a hand or a watermelon for a foot?
Hmmm… Tough choice! I do like potatoes, but having one for a hand would mean I couldn’t play PC games anymore. Plus, I’d want to dunk it in boiling oil and eat it. A watermelon foot, on the other hand (LOL, pun), probably wouldn’t bother me that much. I’d still sort of be able to walk, and I sit most of the time, anyway. Also, I don’t really like watermelon, so I wouldn’t be tempted to eat it!

What are your favorite video games?
All of the Elder Scrolls games, of course! Then there’s the Mass Effect Trilogy, the Dragon Age games, Portal and Portal 2, and The Sims 3.

Is Pluto a planet?
It’s a dwarf planet. Science says it is so, and I trust science. Plus, it makes our Solar System a bit more interesting that way.

Explain the various vocal effects you use in your roles.
Well, Relic and Dagri’Lon are both results of this neat little voice changer program I found online. I used some of their default effects, with a few tweaks here and there. Relic’s effect is called “Droid” and Dagri’Lon’s is called “Hell Demon” (Eesh!)

For Averna and Fjona’s Familiar, I basically just winged it on Audacity.

Averna’s went like this: I recorded the lines, then duplicated the track. The original track got a pitch change to make it sound more feminine, and the duplicate got pitched a bit lower, causing a sort of double-voice creepy thing. Then I merged the tracks and reversed the audio, added an echo, and reversed the audio again, causing a backwards echo.

Fjona’s Familiar also got the reverse echo, but only after I added a background effect to make it sound like he’s talking from the void.

What kind of mic do you use and what difficulties did you run into making your recording environment?
I use an ordinary desktop microphone with a sock pulled over it. The sock helps improve sound quality, and I meticulously edit anything I record to get it to sound better.

By far the most irritating thing about my recording environment is the whine from my computer. No matter what I do, that sound is always in the recordings. So, I use a whole heck of a lot of noise removal to get that cut out.

Another factor is random noise from outside. Cars driving past, airplanes overhead, the neighbours’ kids screaming, dogs barking… So I just close my windows and door, and hope for the best.

What has been the most challenging character to do?  Easiest?
The hardest one for me was probably Skjel. After a while of recording him, my voice was like “Dude! I don’t bend that way!” Of course, after a short break and a quick cigarette, it would be fine again, and I would go on.

The easiest character, I’d have to say, is Rumarin. I use my natural voice, my natural accent, and his use of language is easy to read fluently. Dagri’Lon is easy, too, since I can talk normally, and the voice changer does most of the work.

What do you do in your spare time?
I read a lot, play PC games, watch my favourite shows on TV, surf the web. I also like to cook, and I do tend to sleep a lot.

Who is your favorite vanilla NPC?
That is a tough question. I haven’t thought about it a whole lot, but off the top of my head, I’d say Sheogorath is my favourite. He’s just awesome.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?  Paarthunax or the Blades?  Wine or Mead?  Sweet rolls or apple pies?
Imperials. I know, a lot of people don’t like them, but there’s just something about Ulfric that makes me want to kill him. Besides, the Imperials are all organised and very together. The Stormcloaks are kind of messy.

Paarthurnax. He’s always been nice to me, and I think it’s racist of the Blades to want me to kill him just because he’s a dragon.

You expect me to choose between Wine and Mead? Why can’t we have both? I like wine, though only on certain occasions. Mead (beer) is my go-to drink whenever I go to a bar or pub.

Apple pie, of course! Delicious, warm cinnamonny apple pieces and raisins drenched in a sweet syrup, all wrapped up in pie crust? Who can resist that?! Besides, I’m not exactly clear on what a sweetroll is…