Rabbit – Female, Hacker, Boss

Virus – Male, Guard

Slim – Male, Hacker

Player walks in on three people, one  is trying to hack a terminal.

I got it…I got it….

(terminal locks him out)

Fuck!!!! Goddamnit!

What happened?

Me happened! Again! Arrrrrgh I always tell myself, take your time Slim, no need to rush it Slim, and then I fuck up the code anyway!

Relax kiddo. Just take a breather, and try it again.

Agh! It just annoys me, you know? Like I’ve got a piece of bad code inside my brain and I can’t clean it up!
I don’t know how the fuck you stay so calm.

Because it’s all binary. Doesn’t matter how many times you screw up.
At the end of the day, all that matters is you turn that zero into a one.
Although I gotta be honest, it’d be nice if you didn’t throw a tantrum every time you get locked out.

Yeah man, my ears could use a rest.

All right, all right, all right! Just back off and give me some time to think. Fuck!

(pacing the room and talking to self, this is a reference to the movie Hackers)

Bunnies in the terminal…gotta be a way to stop the flu shot…like “row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream…”

Is he fucking singing?

Just leave him be. Looks like we got overflow.

Player

Did Marowski send you? Funny, most Goodneighbor goons are buggy as fuck. But whoever made you had some clean code.

I do my best.
Hey, staying neat and tidy in the Commonwealth is no easy job. That, or the price of a reinstall’s gotten cheaper since I last checked.
But if you’re the neurotic type, you might also be useful.
Why don’t you give that terminal a try? See if you can crack it.

I’m looking for work.
All right. It just so happens we might have an opening.
See if you can do Slim a favor and crack that terminal.

I think you’re confusing me with someone else.
Maybe so. But since you’re here, maybe you wanna do us a solid and crack that terminal.
Might be worth a few caps for you.

I’m just passing through. Don’t want any trouble.
Well, it’s not like you saw anything illegal. This is more of an audition.
If you want you can have a crack at that terminal yourself.

Of course, if you’re more brawn than brains, you can challenge Virus here to a fight. Or hell, just pick the lock with a bobby pin. More than one way to skin a cat.

So, you wanna fight? Or are you gonna be like Slim and do that Mickey Mouse terminal shit?

I don’t have time for a dick-measuring contest.
Ha, I don’t know about that. The way Slim’s going, we got all the time in the world.

Sorry, not interested.
Hmph. Figures.

I’d like to see you try.
Let’s go then!

You won’t talk when you’re dead.
(Success) Shit man, I just wanted to box. This job ain’t worth losing my life over.

Shit lady, I just wanted to box.

 

Go on. Try it.

I can do it. I just need more time to think…

if player beats up Virus

You got one hell of a punch. You’re hired.

You still need me, boss?

Yeah, never can have enough muscle.

if player opens door

Well, well. Looks like you got that door open before Slim. You’re hired.

What about me?

(alternate) Well, we still need someone who knows their way around a terminal. So that’s you.

Sorry kid, you had your chance. Now get lost before I delete your ass.

Fuck! You’re gonna regret this, you…you bitch!

(sigh) Anyways, I’m sure you have questions, so I’ll try and make this quick.
If you haven’t noticed, this isn’t an actual vault. We use it to test out new hackers.

And me to test the muscle.

Yeah. That’s because the actual prize in an old world laboratory, full of turrets and terminals. So you gotta be a worm and a wolf to get past both.
We get through, and we get our hands on the holy grail of chem dealing. The source code for brahmin-free Jet.

What’s a brahmin?
You really aren’t from around here, are you? Brahmin’s the cattle shit they use to make Jet. Which nobody knew about until the paper spilled the beans.

(Brahmin-free Jet?) I’m not sure I understand what you’re talking about.
I guess you didn’t read that issue of the paper where they talked about Jet and Brahmin shit.

What’s Jet?
It’s a drug. The short version is you huff it and get high. The long version is it’s made from the fumes of brahmin shit.

Yeah, yeah, just tell me what you want.

 

Yeah man, they like, heat that shit up and extract the gases.

Exactly. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t like getting my high from the ass-end of a mutated cow.

That’s why we’re trying to find another kick. Something the Pre-War kids used to get high. We got reasons to think this lab has got what we need. And you’re gonna be our root kit.

And Slim here is gonna be our root kit.

What’s the security like?
It’s a science lab, so it’s guarded by science-y stuff. Turrets, robots, terminals…the works. That’s why we had our top code man, Slim, brush up on his hacking.

(alternate) That’s why we had Slim brush up on his hacking, a lot of good that did him.

It’s probably worth a fortune.
Sure, you can grab whatever chems you can pocket, but we’re there for the Jet.
Anyways, that’s enough prep work. I’ll mark the location on your map. Meet us at the lab when you’re ready.

So it all boils down to greed. Like it always does.
You’re damn right it does. There’s no shame in wearing the black hat. But if you wanna donate your share to some needy cause, then by all means.

I’m in. Just tell me what you need help with.
Your job is to get us into the pharmacy. That’s where we’re gonna get our hands on this chem.
We get ourselves some clean Pre-War Jet, and Slim can talk to the crew without having his breath smell like a toilet.

We’ll meet you at the lab.

Some people don’t like working with people they don’t know. Me? I only care if you can do the job.

I make sure the mission’s bug free. The actual hacking is up to you.

The actual hacking is up to Slim.

Just do as Rabbit says and we’ll be good.

I don’t like all this hacking and lockpicking bullshit. But you try knocking down a steel door with nothing but your fists.

I’m gonna grab me all the chems I can find.

To be honest, I don’t really care that Jet comes from Brahmin shit. The high’s worth it.

I fucking hate you. This should be my job, not yours.

I guess you’re part of the crew now. My only rule is, do not talk to me when I’m hacking a terminal.
Don’t speak, don’t move, don’t do that funny thing people do with their eyebrows when they’re confused. Don’t do any of it.

God there’s so much fucking pressure…I can’t handle this.

I just need to remember to slow down. Got that Slim? Slow…the fuck…down.

enter lab area, see five doors stacked in a vertical line, each with a terminal.

Goddamnit. What is that, like five doors? Whoever built this was one paranoid programmer.

Hey, new blood. See if you can get us through.

(alternate)

Go ahead Slim. This is your time to shine.

All right…I just need to get past all these garbage files…find a back door…Fuck!!!

Is there a problem?

No problem, I just…I don’t know, I tripped something. An alarm maybe, might be bad.

Shit, turrets are live, boss!

Then for fuck’s sake take care of them! Slim, what about the doors? Can you get us through?

Yeah, I got it, I got it. Just get those turrets off my back! I can’t think with all this noise!

player and crew destroy turrets

And…there. Open Fucking Sesame.

That could’ve gone smoother. But whatever, we’re in. Let’s go.

if player hacks terminal

Nice work. Let’s go.

Stage 2

Well, this looks like the lab. But the doors are sealed, and I’m not liking the look of that smoke.

It must be some kind of quarantine system, like, to keep out airborne pathogens or something.

(alternate) Dunno. Looks like some kind of sealed room. Either to keep us out, or keep something in.

Like a gas that’ll get you high.

That’d be my guess.

(alternate) Fuck if I know. Looks like this terminal is running out of juice. But it says our chem is in one of these rooms. Only got enough power to left to open one door though.

According to this terminal, this is where they ran their experiments. One’s toxic, one will knock you out, and the other…bingo motherfucker…that’s our chem. But it doesn’t say which one’s which.

So what? Just open all three.

Can’t. There’s only enough juice left in this terminal for one door.

So it’s an old fashioned three card monte. What do you think? Feeling lucky?

(Luck) I really don’t wanna choose.
Fine, I guess I’ll pick then.

Well, I could flip a Pre-War coin, but ah fuck it, I’m going with this one.

If you pick the wrong one, everyone drops dead, radiation level spikes +100, quest over (if player leaves, use trigger to kill them all, or cue scene where Virus picks a door)

I’m on it.
Sweet. I’ve got a good feeling about this.

Forget it. It’s too dangerous.
Godamnit don’t be such a coward. Virus, you pick a door.

All right boss. Ini mini, miney moe…

Just pick a goddamn door already!

Sorry, my bad. Here goes…

You sure you want this?
Oh yeah. In one of those rooms is the best piece of software ever written. The root kit to your own brain. I’d risk my life and yours to get it.

get access, give player jet dose, play achievement quest music

Nice work.

Is it the right room?

Don’t know. But we aren’t dead, so that’s a good thing. Let me check out this holotape.

What does it say, what does it say!

Calm down Slim. I’m still reading it.

Let’s see…it’s some kind of amphetamine, that’s for sure. You guy’s feeling anything yet?

Yeah boss. Shit’s slowing down. Big time.

Me too. I feel wired in.

Well, what do you know. The shit works. And this holotape right here is the source code.
Best part about it is, it’s all synthetic. Not a single piece of organic crap in it.
And you know what key ingredient is? Get this, it’s Sugar Bombs.

Sugar Bombs. 100% daily value of sugar.
And about a hundred other things that’ll get you completely unplugged.
But you’re feeling it already, aren’t you? Yeah, those pupils look wide enough to fit a nuke.

Makes sense, I suppose.
Yeah. Pre-War kids were probably so amped up they had sparks coming out of their ears.
In fact, I think I just saw a few coming out of yours.

Really? Sugar Bombs?
Well, we won’t know for sure until we try it. But judging by how wide those pupils of yours are, I’m guessing the code will compile.

I don’t care. I want my reward.
The deal was simple. We get the software, you get the hardware.

So we done, boss? I’m getting a little too amped up.

Yeah, we got what we came for.

(to player)
You take whatever you want from the safe. There should be enough of this “ultrajet” to last you a lifetime.