Wastelander in Canterbury Commons, go to 14:50 in the video

Ugh, this is all wrong Joe. I told you to make ’em like Alicia used to!

I suggest you be glad for what you got.

(whining) Nnnnnngh…

 

player talks to Maury

Want some advice? Pinch your nose when you eat Joe’s cooking. It’s the only way to get the flavor out.

Why would you want to take the flavor out?
Why would you want it in? Sometimes I wonder if Joe’s frying up iguana turds instead of the actual iguana.
Alicia though, that girl could probably reach into my ass and pull out a steak.

Judging by the way that smells, I think I’ll be happier if I just cut my nose off.
Yeah, anyone who says it’s spiting your face hasn’t tasted Joe’s cooking.
It wasn’t always this bad though. Alicia had this place smelling like an actual diner. Now it smells worse than a bathroom.

It’s the probably ingredients that are lacking.
I don’t think so. Alicia was frying up the same gamey squirrels Joe was cooking, and it didn’t taste like balls.

Show a little more respect. He’s trying.
(Apologetic) Yeah, I know. I didn’t mean it. It’s just when Alicia was here, you didn’t eat to survive. You actually enjoyed it.

What does Joe’s cooking taste like?
If you want a sample, try licking the bottom of your shoe. Then imagine something a hundred times worse.

Alicia was that good of a cook?
Oh yeah. When you eat her cooking, it’s like your taste buds die and go to heaven.
With Joe, the only thing dying is you.

Where is Alicia now?
She got whisked away by some drifter. Didn’t even pack her things.

Hm…that doesn’t seem very ladylike, although she didn’t strike me as the type to care. Where was she staying?

Across the street in Uncle Roe’s garage. It isn’t locked as far as I know.

Thanks. We’ll take a look and see if we can’t bring her her things.

 

Goodbyes
See ya.
Be careful out there.
Watch what you eat.

Combat
I’m getting out of here!
Ugh!
Agh!

Hellos

There’s too many guards and not enough chefs in this town.

Porter turned the Dot’s Diner into Joe’s Cafe. I don’t think Dot would want her name on that place anyway.

Machete and Dominic do a good job keeping things normal.

I’m telling you, Uncle Roe’s gonna miss the entertainment when he’s gone.