Whew! Looks like Christmas came early, and I must say, you’re one helluva present.
You aren’t gonna be thanking me after you read the bill.
Can I pay in teeth? I don’t have much use for them now that they’re all on the floor.
Yeah. This year’s hottest gift. Get one before they’re gone.
I’ll take two if you have a sister. Hell, give me the whole family.
I’m here to help you.
You already have. I’d be a snack cake if it weren’t for you.
Are you all right?
I’d say I’m pretty far from all right. But nothing a few stimpaks and a nuka-cola can’t fix.
Anyways, I’m guessing you’re my replacement. So much for loyalty. But I guess it doesn’t matter.
Fact is, those ghouls chewed up my leg so bad it feels like bubble gum. So I’m gonna be hobbled for quite a while.
You up for getting those keys? Might be dangerous, but you’d be doing me and our employer a service.
I guess I’ll have to. Seeing as you’re useless.
Correctamundo. You’re exactly right. But seeing as I know where the photo’s locked up, you’re still gonna need me, gimp leg and all.
Here’s the notes I have on the other priests. They may be traps, they may be tombs. Who knows.
But you get those keys, and the cat, as they say, is in the bag.
I’d be glad to help.
That’s the spirit. Naughty pictures make people do strange things, but you seem to be in it for the right reasons.
I don’t mind danger so long as I get paid well enough.
You’ll have to discuss that with our mutual friend. But he hasn’t disappointed me yet.
But she hasn’t disappointed me yet.
I’m always up for a little community service.
It takes a village, after all. So while this little piggy stays home, you can help him out by spending a day in church.
So while this little piggy stays home, you can help her out by spending a day in church.
Note: Solve 3 puzzles to get keys so it’s not a fetch quest. Might be best to go Indy 3 style and have them all at once and just provide clues with the priests.
- Switches/logic puzzle. Lights beneath or spotlights on statue. Either try to get them all on or just the correct order.
- Indy 3 “only the penitent man will pass” thing? Kneel before god, etcetera.
- Search grave buried in the Lord’s light or some other cue, like a beam strikes at noon. Fucking Indy did that too goddamnit I am so unoriginal.
Wildwood Cemetery. The notes say the third priest was buried in a spot where “the light of the Lord would shine at midnight, calling him forth to heaven.”
Hellos
player returns
So, any luck with those keys?
I found them.
All right, then let’s go. The safe room isn’t far. The leg hasn’t healed completely, but at least I can walk.
Watch your step. There’s a few traps here too. Must be getting close.
Enter vault, it’s full of kitten pictures
Well, this isn’t the kind of pussy I was expecting. But it explains why the priests didn’t just burn it.
They probably didn’t know what to make of it. Shit, even I’m confused.
Still, we can’t leave empty handed. See if you can find something valuable in all this junk.
Porno Holotape
Oh Benjie, you’ve been a naughty boy.
I have, haven’t I. But not as naughty as you, my little kitty cat.
(slap noises)
Mee-ow.
Do you want to climb this tree, my kitten?
I do. But my paws are so tiny, and your trunk is so huge. I dare say it could take me all night!
Plenty of time, my pet, plenty of time.
end holotape
Ha, that was a good find. Way better than some grainy photo of a pin-up girl.
See, what you got there is a genuine Ben Spader smut tape.
I reckon the boss should pay you pretty well for it. And to the victor, go the spoils.
Hello
“Lust’s passion will be served; it demands, it militates, it tyrannizes.” Guess that goes double when your passions are as weird as this guy’s.
Don’t worry about me. You did all the work, you should get the reward.
That Spader was one kinky motherfucker, that much is for sure.
Go on. I’ll be fine.