Lounge singer/hostess. Sultry, American accent/Carmen voice works. Might require singing, but someone else can do that if need be. i think the mood for this one is a nightclub setting.

Hey there handsome, what can I do you for? A drink, a song, or a story?

Hey there gorgeous, what can I do you for?

Pardon?
A little slow, are we? If you want a drink, talk to the bartender.
If you want a song, you’ll have to wait a spell.
But if you want a story, well…the night’s still young.

Are those my only choices?
First time here? If you want a drink…(same as above no need to repeat)

I’ll have a drink, thank you.
Then you’re talking to the wrong gal. I don’t serve the drinks. But you buy me one, sugar, and you might get a story.

I’d like to make a request.
That’s sweet, but I need a little time. Why don’t you be a swell cat and buy me a drink to pass it.

How about you tell me your story.
That’s not what I meant, honey. I was asking if you aimed to write one.
Something to tell your friends back home.
And if you do it right, you won’t even need a pen. It’ll write itself.

Tell me about yourself.
If you want this bird to sing, you’ll need to wet her beak.

What’s your poison?
Scotch, actually, but it tears my throat something fierce, so the owners don’t like it when I drink the heavy stuff.
But if you tell the bartender to get me a martini with an olive kilt, he’ll know.

Here’s a your scotch.
Thanks sugar. If martinis are a sonnet, then whiskey’s like a drum. But we can’t all sing like angels.

How long have you worked here as a singer?
Since before there was anyone to listen. When the only jeers you’d hear was the echo from a sour note.

You look rather young.
Your eyes can tell you their own story. Full of little white lies.
But if you look closely, the seams are stitched in black.

I assume now people just throw tomatoes.
Ha, not when I’m on stage honey.

It’s hard to imagine anyone jeering at you.
Maybe not now. But it takes time to be flawless.
They say the night has a thousand eyes, and every single one is pointed at that stage.
Every little pair is its own judge.

How did you get this gig?
My sister used to date the owner, and a warm bed brings a lot of favors.

What happened after they broke up?
I figured he’d toss me out, but it turns out I was bringing in too many caps.
I guess my sister was the one doing the favor. Wasn’t the first time, I’ll tell you that.

Where’s your sister now?
Probably shacking up with some other high roller. I don’t blame her. It’s not easy making a living out here. You do what you can with what you got, for as long as you got it.
When it’s gone and she comes back, I’ll be here.

Do you enjoy performing here?
Sure. It pays the bills and the people are classy. A vibe like that is hard to find in a messed up world.

(alternate in case earlier line is cringe-y)
A vibe like that is hard to find in a world as messed up as this one.

I want to go back to my other questions.
Sure thing. As long as you’re buying, I’m listening.

Did you have aspirations to become a singer?
Does it matter? Sure, in another life, maybe I get to change my cards.
But in this life, we play the hand we’re dealt.
These pipes are only good for talking and singing. And no one cares what I have to say.

Hellos
Yeah?
What can I do for you, honey?
Make it quick, I got another set coming up.
See you around.
Be careful out there.

 

This character is sort of paranoid after being robbed multiple times. She’s a doctor and book smart but not very street smart. She is also kind of nutty, and cares less about healing people than making money.

You! Keep your hands where I can see them and we won’t have trouble!

Yes ma’am.
Good. And while you’re at it, try and keep those hands close together.
Last guy who robbed me put his hands so far apart I couldn’t see one without losing the other.
Unfortunately, that was the one holding the gun.

Calm down, I just want to buy some meds.
That’s exactly what a raider would say.
It’s like “Hey can you help me out, I got this cut on my hip” and then BOOM! Party’s over. I’m not falling for that again.

You should try being nicer to a potential customer.
I tried being nice. But I can’t afford to be. Not anymore.
Although you look friendly enough. Which is exactly why you’re so goddamn suspicious!

I will put my hands wherever I please. Usually in my pants.
You do that and I start shooting. And don’t think I’ll hesitate to shoot a man in the jing-jang! Not after the last time.

(alternate) And don’t think I’ll hesitate to shoot a woman in the fly-trap!

Don’t fuck with me lady. Just move along.
Hey, you came to me. And if you want to make a deal, we play by my rules.
Although it’s not a game, so there aren’t any rules. It’s more like a contract. Hands up if you wanna sign it!

You seem a little apprehensive. What’s the matter?
I’m just trying to make a living, same as you, same as everyone.
Before, all I wanted was to treat the sick and make a few caps. But it turns out some people are just sick in the head.

What do you mean, sick in the head?
You know, bonkers, nutty, cuckoo for Cola. They come by and ask me to fix them, but they don’t pay. In fact, they steal. And some of them aren’t even ill!
I’d tell you their names if it weren’t for goddamn Doctor-Patient Confidentiality.

You can tell me their names. The Hippocratic Oath is not that rigid.
But it’s an oath. You can’t break an oath! Or else what’s the point?
(narrows eyes) I don’t trust you.

So now you’re taking measures to defend yourself. Smart move.
Of course it’s smart. I’m a doctor! I didn’t study medicine for eight years because I’m stupid. I did it because I was poor and starving.

What about hiring a bodyguard?
Bodyguards are expensive.  Arming them is expensive. Giving them lunches and vacation days and sick leave is expensive.
It might be cheaper getting robbed.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but I’m here to steal as well.
(panicky) No! Hands off! Or I swear to god I’m gonna shoot them!

In that case, you can relax. I’m not a thief.
How do I know that? It’s not like you can prove it.
Maybe if you buy something and leave quietly, I might believe you.

What sort of medical training do you have?
Well, I’ve studied medical terminals and books from all over Boston.
As for field work, most of my experience comes from all the times I’ve been robbed.
I’ve performed six surgeries on myself in the past three months, and I’ve got the scars to prove it.

Tell me about yourself. Why become a doctor?
For the caps. As dangerous as the wastes are, any smart business woman can see there’s a need for doctors.
Stimpaks are great, but they can’t heal everything.

Actually, they can.
As a doctor, I am obliged to mention I disagree with your opinion, but I encourage you to purchase all the stimpaks I have in order to prove my point.

You don’t think stimpaks work?
I believe that a lot of the effects are placebic. Which is a fancy way of saying it’s all in your head. Go ahead, buy them and see for yourself.

I agree. All you really need is alcohol, glue, and duct tape.
That, and extensive medical training. Tools aren’t enough. Believe me, I’ve tried. Lucky for me, those patients are too dead to complain.
That’s also why I make sure to get their caps up front.

So you treat people just for the caps?
Let me tell you a story. I once knew a man who killed his own wife by giving her too much Med-X.
You could argue that his heart was in the right place – although technically it wasn’t because he needed surgery to fix a loose valve.
Either way, my point is, motivations mean nothing. Are my thoughts a little sketchy? Sure. But is what I do unethical? Of course not.

What do you have for sale?
Everything. RadAway, Med-X, Stimpaks, you name it. But only for paying customers.

That depends. Do you have caps?

I’ve got chems, but I’m not responsible if you try and abuse them. The instructions are on the packages and they’re very clear.

Can you patch me up?
I’ll do it, but any sudden movements and I’m sticking my scalpel where the sun don’t shine. Front and back.

Money first. The patching up comes after.

Looks like you’re a little short. Oh god, you aren’t here to rob me, are you?

Hellos/Goodbyes
What is it?
Can I help you?
All right then.
I can stitch you up, but it’ll cost you.
I’ve got pricing plans for some of the more expensive surgeries.
If you feel a lump in your throat, it’s not love. It’s probably a serious disease.