CATCHER/HISTORIAN Mullens
RIGHT FIELDER WILLIS
SHORTSTOP JONES(FILLED)
1st BASEMAN HENDERSON(FILLED)
LEFT FIELDER SAMPSON(FILLED)
The Pin – Male(FILLED)
Strike – Male, Hip Daddy-O type(FILLED)
Washout – Female, Tough/Crude(FILLED)
Teddy – Male, Anxious/Weaker(FILLED)
Coach Walters(FILLED)
Bruce – Male(FILLED)
CATCHER/Historian Mullens
As the Catcher, it’s my responsibility to catch and record all historical data.
We know from the sacred highlight reels that the Heroes of the Old Age wore red with the name “Boston” on their chests.
Men like Matt “The Missile” Murtah, and Sam “The Splitter” Watson.
The war between the Americans and the Nationals often hinged on the use of a designated base-man, who was allowed to replace an injured soldier in the field.
Theft was not only accepted, but encouraged. We know this because many prolific thieves were allowed beyond the gates of Cooperstown.
The rank of shortstop was often given to most prestigious infantry members. However, I feel the catcher’s rank was the most valuable, as he alone was the gatekeeper to home base.
On the diamond, taking walks was also an essential part of life. While some see the journey to first base as a trial, many were given a free pass.
Another prophecy speaks of the great zero, when the boxscore of our enemies will read: no hits, no runs, and no errors. A blessed day to be sure.
There are rules written, and those unwritten. The unwritten rules are the things the boxscore does not tell you. One must figure it out for themselves.
Some say a curse was placed on the team from Boston by a witch named Bambino. Bruce will help lift the curse.
(do combat as well)
Combat
Agh!
Ugh!
Take him deep!
Take her deep!
Strike him out!
Strike her out!
You’ve scored your last run, blue!
RIGHT FIELDER WILLIS
We wear red socks to fight against the blue pinstripes and their wicked Sultan.
When the great war came, the cowards in blue pinstripes fled to underground vaults.
There are many names etched in the granite walls of Cooperstown. Knights who fought with wooden clubs. We carry on their legacy.
We prayed that he would come, and he has returned.
Combat (ALL CULT MEMBERS)
Agh!
Ugh!
Take him deep!
Take her deep!
Strike him out!
Strike her out!
You’ve scored your last run, blue!
THE PIN
Welcome to Back Alley Bowling! Did you bring your own head, or do you want to rent one? You can’t play the game without a head.
Welcome back! Here for a game?
Can’t stay away can you? I think we’ve got a free lane here somewhere.
DOWN Game? What do you mean?
The game is bowling. As for the heads, well, as you can see, we don’t use balls here.
I mean we tried, but it was boring as fuck. But one day I cut off this thief’s head, and bowled it into his partner trying to escape. And with that, a new sport was born.
LEFT – Wow. In a world full of insane ideas, that’s pretty high on the list.
You only say that because you haven’t actually tried the old way. Seriously, I don’t know what these Pre-War cats were thinking.
Believe me when I say, we’re better off without ’em.
DOWN – I think it’s a great idea.
Of course it is. I’m the one who thought of it.
RIGHT – (Raider problem?) Who are these guys? Raiders?
Raiders, scavs, distant relatives, who knows. The point is, they’re bowling balls now.
UP – You got some kind of problem with shoplifters?
Not since I started killing them. Now I have the opposite problem. I don’t have enough heads to roll.
LEFT – Who are you?
I’m in charge. That’s all you need to know.
DOWN – What is this place?
What does it look like? It’s a bowling alley! Only better.
We uh…liberated it from the previous owners. Some raider crew from the westside. Funny thing is, my cousin was part of their gang.
And the funnier thing is, I didn’t realize it until I was using that big old nose of his to pick up a 7-10 split! Ha-ha-ha!
In fact, I bowled a 260 that day. I’ve been using Johnny as my personal ball ever since.
UP – NO MORE QUESTIONS
I’ll think about it.
Thinking’s good. And if you swell that brain up, it might end up one helluva ball.
Not today.
Then I’ll see you in the funny papers.
Gonna pass.
All right. Lane’s are open if you change your mind.
Not interested.
Suit yourself.
Quest
RIGHT – Anything I can do to help?
As a matter of fact there is. We’re in need of some new balls, some of them are starting to go bad.
The smaller sizes I can take care of, but for our larger customers, I need a big head, something that will hit those pins like it owed them money.
As to where you can find one…well, I used to know a caravan trader named Bruce. Guy was strung out on buffout. Shrunken testicles and everything. But it ain’t his jock strap that interests me. It’s his head.
Any idea where he might’ve gone?
Yeah, the other day I heard him and some heavy lifters were living in an old shack to the west of here.
See, buffout swells your head like nobody’s business. I’m thinking one of them fiends has a melon worth bowling with.
I want you to find me the biggest head in the bunch, whether it’s Bruce’s, or one of his pals.
Sure, why not.
Great. You bring me that head, and I’ll make sure you get paid.
I don’t think so.
Fine. I’ll be here if you change your mind.
No thanks.
Well, at least you got manners.
I’ll think about it.
Sure. Think away.
I’ve decided.
So, what’s it gonna be?
head is cult head worshiped by Super Mutants or buffout users. Cult of Buffout, Cult of Bruce?
Here you go.
Now that is a head that can crush some pins! Good job!
And for your trouble, here. A few caps and one special gift – A lane named in your honor. Lane 3 oughta do. Or should I say, lane YOU!
And of course, you’re welcome back anytime.
(if Bruce’s head brought)
Holy shit! Is that who I think it is? Looks like Ol’ Brucie finally found his calling in life.
mid-quest hello
Got the head I asked for?
(post-quest)
If it isn’t my favorite head buster! Welcome back!
The other day some asshole tried to use your lane. He’s a bowling ball now.
There’s a job polishing heads too. Um…not that kind of head. You know what I mean. No homo.
Scene 1 STRIKE
Strike, you keeping our customers well stocked?
What customers, pin?
The one you said was in lane one!
Oh, right. Turns out that was a hallucination.
Scene 2 STRIKE
You think we can do something about the vibe here, daddy-o?
It’s fine. And I ain’t your daddy or your pops. Unless the question is, “Who’s your daddy?” Then you can say my name.
Right on.
Scene 3 TEDDY
Hey Teddy, when are you gonna take off that ridiculous head?
You mean the mask?
No, I mean the one under it. We’re running out of fresh bowling balls and you’re up next.
Scene 4 WASHOUT
Washout, you gotta do something if you’re gonna stick around here. Sweep the floors, kill some raiders, something.
I ain’t gotta do shit motherfucker.
All right, all right, Jesus. Forget I even asked.
Scene 5 WASHOUT
Hey Pin, is it true you bowled a 260 with that ball of yours?
Oh yeah. I ain’t a cheater. Should’ve gotten 270 if it weren’t for that six pin being a fucking twat.
Mind if I borrow it? Gonna do some bowling later.
No. That’s where I draw the line. You know damn well I let you do whatever you want around here, but some things are sacred.
Fine.
STRIKE(FILLED)
Hey daddy-o. If you need fixing, I got meds. And if you need a fix, I got something for that too.
Hey mama.
What’s the word on the street?
What’s the haps?
Don’t matter if you’re throwing strikes or in the gutter. In this place, you know heads will roll.
(post-quest)
Nice work getting that head for the boss. Real smooth.
Barter
Yeah. Check it out.
Got all the kicks for your fix.
Solid.
Q2 – How’d you end up here?
Sorry baby, I may be an open book, but every word is in another language.
It’s the language of the soul, you dig? And you need to get a little higher to read it.
Q3 – What do you do here?
I sell good vibes and good times. As for the others, Teddy hangs, and Washout clangs.
The Pin, he runs the joint. Best not to get on his bad side. Of course, if you haven’t noticed, the big man is a straight up circle. He’s only got one side.
Q4 – That’s it.
Stay cool.
Take it easy my man.
Take it easy lady.
TEDDY (guy in teddy bear head)
Hey there.
I don’t like it when people look at me. The head helps.
Did you come here to bowl?
The Pin says my head was too small for bowling. Now I can’t stop thinking about how funny I look.
With the head on, I can make eye contact with people. Although they aren’t really looking at my eyes.
(post-quest)
Glad you got that head. For a second I thought The Pin was gonna take mine.
note to self: For heads, see how they made the heads at Monsignor Plaza, in the fridge
Pitching Coach Walters
Welcome pilgrim to the House of Bruce.
Bruce? Who’s that?
Bruce was once a great leader of baseballers, in the time before the great war. He was a swatting prodigy, whose hat size was said to be an unimaginable number.
We thought he was forever lost to the great Hall of Cooperstown, but according to legend, he left his head behind to be worn by another. A new Bruce, reborn.
Up – What do you mean by that?
Long ago there was a prophecy that spoke of a baseballer who would splinter the curse of the Sultan Bambino.
We’ve given the hat to many pilgrims in hopes one would fit. Then, like the free agents of yore, a worthy head found his way to the sacred locker room.
Right – (That’s ridiculous) You’re kidding, right? That’s ridiculous.
Miracles are by nature hard to believe, but they’re no less real.
The prophecy spoke of a baseballer who would wear the sacred hat, and splinter the Bambino’s curse.
Many have tried, but it’d only fit on the head of our savior. That man has finally come.
Left – (Sarcastic) You know you’re completely nuts, right?
I know that a prophecy was made, and a prophecy fulfilled. And soon, the Bambino’s curse will be splintered. To deny this reality is true insanity.
Down – Who are you filling in for?
When a manager is gone, the pitching coach must fulfill his duties. He must maintain the code of the locker room, and lead his team to first base.
But with Bruce here to splinter the Bambino’s curse, I can return to my normal routine as a medic in the field.
What’s your movement all about?
We have the same goal as all men. To round the bases. From first base we hope to reach second, and from second we’ll move on to third.
Only then will the gates of home open, and our numbers will ascend to the scoreboard in the sky.
And when the Official Scorer marks us down in his ethereal book, the curse of the dreaded Sultan will finally be broken.
Is there anything I can do to help out?
Indeed there is. New Bruce doesn’t accept his fate as the One Manager. He doesn’t understand he’s not himself, but another, from long ago.
He’s the reincarnation of Bruce the Bat. And he will lead us to victory over the devils in blue pinstripes.
What’s with the outfit?
We wear the uniform of the classic baseballer. They were great military warriors, the first in recorded history to discover the potency of buffout on the battlefield.
We honor them by wearing their jerseys and socks, stained red with the blood of their enemies.
player rescues Bruce
Stop him! Protect Bruce at all costs!
Stop her!
player takes Old Bruce head
Kill him! He’s defiled the altar!
Kill her! She’s defiled the altar!
SHORTSTOP JONES(FILLED)
A shortstop must always keep his glove low to the ground.
If the odds are against you, take a strike, and put the pressure on your opponents.
Stealing is okay, but not when you’re rich. To do so would show up those who lack the means to score.
To turn a double play is to kill two baseballers with one stone.
1st BASEMAN HENDERSON(FILLED)
When you die, the sacred boxscore will give your final account. It can tell no lie, but it does not tell all.
There are only two seasons. Winter and Baseball. Bautista, 3:16.
A good batsman will always defend the plate.
For basemen of true glory, death is not the end, for they ascend to the great hall of Cooperstown.
LEFT FIELDER SAMPSON
Above all else, the code of the locker room must be maintained.
It’s my task to stand watch on the great green wall.
The wall has stopped many an opponent from rounding the bases.
We vow to always give 110%, and never make the first out at third base.
BRUCE(FILLED)
Hey, you gotta let me out of here! These people are nuts!
Please, you gotta do something! Pick the lock, melt the bars, anything!
door opened, cult mad
Oh no, they’re coming for us!
Don’t let ’em get me!
Aagh!
Oof!
save bruce
Thanks! You saved my life!
UP – It was no big deal.
To you maybe. It sure as hell was a big deal to me.
LEFT – So, how do you plan to reward me exactly?
(Success) Here’s everything I got. 100 caps. I don’t know what I’ll do without any money, but at least I’m alive.
(Fail) I can’t spare any more than 50 caps. But there’s gotta be something here worth taking.
You won’t sweeten the pot?
(ask again) That’s all I got. I know I sound ungrateful, but it’s the truth.
DOWN – No thanks necessary. I’m just glad you’re all right.
You’re a swell guy, you know that? You save my life, and you don’t even ask for any money. That’s rarer than tits on a bull.
You’re a swell bird, you know that?
RIGHT – You’re safe. Calm down.
You want me to calm down? Do you have any idea what they were about to do to me?
I mean, I can’t say for sure it was gonna be bad, but I can tell just by looking at ’em that it wasn’t gonna be good.
(repeat)So, how do you plan to reward me exactly?
That’s all I got. I know I sound ungrateful, but it’s the truth.
That’s all I can spare.
How are you feeling?
I’ll be fine, now that those wackos are dead.
What happened to you? How long have you been locked up in here?
A few months back my caravan got hit by raiders. I was lucky to get out alive, but I used my last bottle of buffout to outrun ’em.
I needed more before I could go back out there, and I heard this place had it cheap.
When I got here, first thing those freaks did was make me try on their magic hat. I thought it was some sorta stupid initiation thing.
But when the hat fit, they locked me up, saying I was some reincarnation of their god.
So what are you gonna do now?
I don’t know. I can’t go back to Diamond City, reminds me too much of baseball. I guess I’ll go to Bunker Hill for now, see if I can’t catch a break. Either way, thanks.
Post-Quest Hellos
Thanks again for helping me.
I don’t care what anyone says, my head ain’t that big.
Bunker Hill’s not really a town. More like a market. But you know what it’s not? A fucking cult.
After what I’ve been through, I could use a few drinks.
You know The Pin at the bowling alley? We grew up together, but these days, he hangs around a bad crowd. Well, bad’s not the right word. More like strange.
Battle or no battle, Bunker Hill’s still a helluva lot safer than that other place.
WASHOUT
You’re really cute. I fucking hate cute.
You got a decent sized head. It’d make for a good bowling ball.
You again? What is it now?
What.
Yeah?
(post-quest)
Nice work finding that head. It’s fucking big. But I’ve seen bigger.
Who are you people exactly?
Well, we’re not a gang, or scavs, or raiders, or all of the above, if that’s what you mean.
Pin’s the boss, but in name only.
If you haven’t figured it out, Teddy’s the resident creep.
Strike’s all right. Worthless, but all right.
Point is, only thing we got in common is this bowling alley.
Q2 – And you are…
The name’s Washout. It’s bowling lingo. You either get it, or you don’t. Makes no difference to me.
Q3 – What can you tell me about this place?
It’s a bowling alley. We bowl heads. That makes us athletes or murderers, depending on if you wanna live.
Q4 – That’s it.
Whatever.
Later.
See ya.