CLARISSA BARTON

“And despite his critics, Thomas was widely believed to be the greatest American Patriot of all time”…oh my god this is it! This is what I’ve been looking for!

Hey.

(Scared/surprised)
Button Gwinnetts! Who are you?

Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.
Oh, but you didn’t! Well, you did, but not in a bad way. I just discovered something really important, and now I have someone to share it with! Huzzah!

I’m just exploring. Looking for salvage.
Salvage? Here? Oh, not that I’m calling you a liar or anything! (nervously laughs)
I mean, you have the gun, so you’re in charge of what’s real.
But there are some really important things in here! Historical things! Those are the best kind…right?

Why don’t you tell me who you are first?
I’m just here looking for a person. A very, very important person. And I found him!
That’s when you came in and scared me.

This is a hold up. Are you gonna hand over the money and chems, or am I gonna have to kill you?
But I don’t have any money. Or chems. I have this hat though!
It was worn by a drummer boy at the Battle of Bunker Hill, and…you don’t care do you.
Please don’t kill me, I’ve found something really important.

What’s so important?
I’m glad you asked! I was hoping you’d ask. And you did! Hooray, you!
But yeah, I’m researching the greatest American patriot who ever lived.
Forget your Washingtons, your Jeffersons, your Franklins and your Hamiltons. Well, don’t forget them, they’re important too, but this guy Thomas, he was even better!

What’s so special about this person?
Well, I don’t know exactly. But his name is mentioned everywhere. On statues, on holotapes, even greeting cards!
The only thing I can tell you is every Sunday, people would gather around the living room and talk about him.
That’s what got me thinking he was a priest or some powerful religious figure. Maybe somebody with his own TV show!

Are you all right? You seem a little jumpy.
Only because I’m scared. I mean, you could’ve been a ghoul. Or even worse, a radroach.
But Abigail Adams said “That great necessities call out great virtues,” and there’s no greater necessity than teaching people history, let me tell you.
That’s why I’m out here, braving the Commonwealth. Still, it’s not easy. I’m more Hamilton than Burr.

You out here all by yourself?
Oh dingleberries, that’s exactly what a raider would say. Or worse yet, a salesman.

Anything I can do to help?
Holy tricorne hats do you mean it? Even after you threatened to rob me?

I’d be glad to help.
I’ve changed my mind. I’d be glad to help.
Great! So, according to this receipt, there’s more where this document came from.
It was bought from a caravan that was spotted around University Point, selling “Patriot memorabilia.”
Problem is, I don’t have the Roosevelts to go there myself. But you, you look like a regular minuteman! I’m sure you’ll do just fine!

If I help you, I expect part of the payment up front.
Well, I normally don’t pay up front. It’s like taxation without representation.
But as Patrick Henry once said, “I know of no way of judging the future but by the past.”
So if I give you 100 caps now, maybe you’ll see that as a promise for the future? I know that’s not what it means, I just love quoting Patrick Henry.

No promises, but I’ll see what can do.
I’ll take it!

Actually, I’m kind of busy at the moment.
That’s too bad. As Franklin Roosevelt once said, “There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still.”
So I guess I’ll just find another way forward? I don’t know.

 

greets

Have you thought about, maybe helping me?

Make sure to leave no stone unturned. Unless it’s a historically important stone. Then do your best to observe it from a safe distance.

Have you checked out that site yet?

Have you ever seen that statue near Cutler Bend? I think it was one of Thomas’. Well, it used to be, before they replaced his head with a hand.
I don’t know who’s restoring that thing, but whoever it is needs to learn a thing or two about historical accuracy.

return to Quest giver

You’re back! Let me guess, you found a biographical tome!
Or ooh, ooh, some kind of colonial diary! That would be even better!
Don’t keep me in suspense now! You have something, right?

(Lie) Actually I do.
Oh gimme gimme! Holy Hancock, this is a letter! And it’s in his actual handwriting!
This will tell me all sorts of things about the time he lived in, and the people who confided in!
This is an amazing find! How can I ever thank you!

No thanks necessary.
Well, at least let me give you these caps. Plus a little something extra.
Here. It’s Alonzo Church’s hot plate! Or a church hotplate, lower case C. But in my professional opinion, it’s Alonzo’s.

The job is done. I expect to get paid.
And you will! Not just in caps, although that seems to be what you want most.
But if you’re that greedy, you’ll also appreciate this. It’s Rockefeller’s bowler hat! Not John D’s, but a Rockefeller – I’d bet my history degree on that!

Just doing my job.
You did better than that. And you deserve more than just caps.
Here. It’s a stimpak, my namesake, Clara Barton used to patch up union soldiers.
That or an ordinary stimpak I picked up off the ground, but in my professional opinion, it’s Clara’s.

(Give almanac) I hate to break it to you but well, there were…complications. Here.
(same as below)

Sorry, I don’t.
But what’s that in your hand? Let me see that.
By the founding fathers, is this true? The greatest American patriot was just some jock in shoulder pads?
Which also means this whole chase was one big waste of time. It’s that cherry tree story all over again.

(Sigh) I’m gonna need some time to digest this. But here. As promised, your payment, plus a little something extra.
Won’t be needing it now, now that I know it’s worthless. Historically, anyway.

(Give almanac) There were complications. Here.
What do you mean by that? Let me take look.
What in the world? Touchdown Tom was a football player? You mean the greatest American Patriot was just some dumb jock?

(Give letter and almanac) Sort of. It’s complicated. Here.
What do you mean, sort of? Let me see what you got there. It’s a letter. This looks promising.
But according this almanac…Touchdown Tom was a football player?

Player receives Touchdown Tom’s Football Launcher

Hellos

Based on this letter, we know Thomas took his grievances to court. Maybe he was a civil rights leader, challenging the government.

He also seems to be involved with a union. He’s obviously pro labor, a real man of the people.

He says he’s a New England Patriot. So it’s pretty clear this all took place after 1969.

***

Okay, so Thomas turned out to be a nobody. But that just gives me appreciation for people like John Zubly! A real hero that shouldn’t be forgotten.

During the Civil War, Mary Bickerdyke spent her entire life caring for wounded soldiers. If I apply just half that willpower to studying history, I’ll have done my job.

I was named after the great Massachusetts nurse, Clarissa Harlowe Barton. Friends called her Clara for short.

You ever hear of James Armisted? He was a slave turned spy, and another forgotten patriot of the revolutionary war.
In 1787, he finally got his freedom, and took on the name “Lafayette.”
That’s after Marquis de Lafayette, whom he served under and the man who granted his freedom.

From the Buffalo soldiers in the Civil War to the Navajo code talkers in World War 2, there are lots of instances throughout history of minority and oppressed groups fighting for America.

Did you know that Alexander Hamilton had an affair with a married woman, and gave her money because he felt sorry for her?
Yeah, true story. Then the husband found out and tried to blackmail him for giving his wife money. Crazy stuff.

The pirate Blackbeard once held up an entire port. Not for gold or treasure, but for medicine. His entire crew had syphilis.

Did you know the nation used to be divided into 50 states? It wasn’t until 1969 that we reorganized into 13 Commonwealths.

 

GROGAN, GRONK

Grogan not understand Black 59 razor. Why run deep post when enemy blitz? Why not check down bubble screen with 23 alert?

What are you talking about?
Football. Grogan talk about football. But Grogan tired of talking! He want to smash!

Talking to you is pointless.
Grogan agree. Humans talk too much. No point to any of it.

Kind of a mouthful, isn’t it?
Human’s mouth always full of words. Never smash-mouth like people say.

Is something the matter?
Nothing matter when humans talk.

I’m looking into a lost caravan. Can you help?
You seek skinny man. Man who catches nukes. Grogan take you to him.

What’s your name?
Skinny man call me Grogan, after famous nuke tosser. Come, you meet him now.

Bah! You’re an idiot! All super mutants are idiots!
Skinny Man say different. He say, mutants can learn to catch nukes Gunners throw.
Grogan take you to him. He show you.

This is a waste of time.
All human things are waste of time. But Skinny Man catch nukes Gunners throw.
So we follow him. You, you follow too.

Grogan leads player to classroom, where super mutants GRONK, BLUNT, SEYMOUR are sitting.

COACH SKINNY

Now if you look at this play, what we’re trying to get is a seal here, and a seal here, so we can run right through the alley between.

But Gronk no understand. Why run from enemy? Why not kill and eat him?

For the last time Gronk, that’s what we call “unnecessary roughness.” Remember, violence isn’t the point. It’s simply a means to score points.
Now that’s all for today. I want you to think about what you learned and how you’d use it on the field.

GRONK Hellos

Gronk try to remember when roughness is necessary. But it hard.

Gronk smash. Gronk catch. Gronk score.

Gronk want to kill human. But killing against rules.

Skinny Man make it so nuke no explode. Not sure how, but it stop going boom. Gronk know because he spike one.

GROGAN Hellos

Skinny man says Grogan have best arm and best head. So he throw mini nuke. Others catch.

Grogan have trouble reading defense. Probably because he not know how to read.

Grogan met Skinny Man at his kidnapping. Now he free – free to teach Grogan how to throw mini nuke.

Grogan try to convince other Super Mutants to play. Not many agree.

Gunner with Fat Man give my brothers trouble. We learn to catch what he throws, like football man.

***

We don’t get much in the way of visitors down here. Can I help you with something?

Do you know anything about a missing caravan?
Well, if you’re talking about Brady’s Bandwagon, it’s not missing. I’m all that’s left.
See, back in the day, me and this musician used to go from town to town playing fight songs and teaching kids how to play football.
Now I teach these galoots instead.

Who’s this friend of yours? What happened to him?
Raiders got him. After he died, I kept at it for a couple more years, but calling it Brady’s Bandwagon wasn’t the same without Brady or the band.
Then a few months back I got nabbed by a gang of Super Mutants.
They thought I was supplying a Gunner that had been giving them trouble. But they got confused when none of the nukes in my wagon actually blew anything up.

Yes. Human has strange power. He catches nukes, but no boom.

Yeah, no boom. I don’t think they realize these nukes are just empty shells. I just use them because they’re shaped like footballs.
When I tried to explain it, a couple of them got curious, and I’ve been teaching them the game ever since.

When we master football, we will know how to stop the Fat Man. We will catch all the nukes.

Super mutant logic. Gotta love it.

Who are you?
The mutants call me Skinny, like I’m some kind of Fat Man repellent.
That’s how most of them think. You’re either strong, or weak. Fat, or skinny. Mutant, or food.
My real name’s Bill. But you try telling that to them, see how far that gets you.

What’s going on here?
Well, I was trying to teach these boys how to execute a power sweep.
But most of what I teach them goes in one ear and out the fist.
It’s like how Eskimos have twenty different words for cold. Well, Super Mutants only got two words. Eat, and kill.

I’m looking for something. Can you help?
Look, if you’re here because my old partner sold you some bogus memorabilia, I had nothing to do with it.
Ever since I showed him that letter, my partner Brady tried to pass himself off as Touchdown Tom, the greatest New England Patriot who ever lived.
But the truth is, he didn’t know a sack from a fumble. And now he’s dead.
Here, take this. It’s a sports almanac. It’ll tell you Touchdown Tom died long before the war.

optional objective, find some of Touchdown Tom’s letter

That’s all.
All right. You meet any mutants who wanna learn the game, send ’em my way.

Hellos
You think Diamond City is impressive? You should see the Iron Grid. Place is a sight, I tell ya.

Don’t know why it’s called football. You don’t really kick the ball so much as throw it. But hey, I didn’t come up with the rules, I just teach ’em.

Super Mutants aren’t all bad. They’re just mostly bad.

Truth is, I never liked teaching kids. They’re all a bunch of smart asses. Mutants are a lot of things, but they ain’t smart, that’s for sure.

Scene 1 with vanilla Super Mutant voice 2

Remember, on the field, the goal is to move north and south, not east and west.

Yes. We should move north. Range out… and hunt! But… for food? Or sport?

Sports! We’re playing sports. No one’s eating anybody.

Scene 2 with vanilla Super Mutant voice 3

By the way Blunt, if you want to win, you have to learn how to work with your brothers.

But I am special.

That’s not how it works. You gotta play as a team.

There are none like me! None! I am better.

Scene with Gronk

Gronk, I thought it over, and you can’t raise a hound here. They’re too unpredictable.

Why? Gronk train dog. Dog kill humans.

I’m a human!

True. Then human should learn to fight back.

Scene with Grogan

How’s that playbook coming along?

Grogan having trouble with “zone blitz.” Why big men drop back like coward?

It’s a trick really. Big guys aren’t really good at covering. It’s more to catch the other guy off guard.

Grogan does not like coward play. He put head down and smash empty hole!

Well, that’s one way of using your head.

Tom Brady’s Letter

The season starts tomorrow morning and I can’t wait to fully commit my energy and emotion to focus on the challenges. I want to thank everyone for the support they have given me throughout this challenging experience. I also want to thank Judge Berman and his staff for their efforts to resolve this matter over the past five weeks. I am very grateful. My thanks also to the union’s legal team who has fought so hard right along with me. I look forward to the competition on the playing field and I hope the attention of NFL fans can return to where it belongs. Most importantly, I look forward to being a New England Patriot from now until the end of time.