Got any work? Can’t buy booze without caps. Can’t get caps without work. So you see my dilemma.

Work for me
Great! I’ll be there with beers on. Bells on. What I’m trying to say is, I’ll beer there, or beer squared.

Drunk Idles

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer!
You take one down and pass it around, ninety-…something bottles of beer on the wall!

Is it Wednesday yet? Whiskey Wednesday, is what I call it. Because I drink a lot of whiskey that day. And every other day, but who’s counting.

You know, people tell me money doesn’t grow on trees, but why the hell doesn’t it? We got caps, we got soil, let’s plant the fucking thing!

We don’t need a big ol’ farm on this settlement. Beer and bratwursts, that’s all man really needs to survive.

A wise man once said, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

You wanna know a secret? I’m a Minuteman. Also, a sixty minute man.

Look here girls I’m telling you now!
They call me “Lovin’ Dan”!
I rock ’em, roll ’em all night long! I’m a sixty-minute man!

I forget who I reported to last. It was either Connie Hawes or General Pecker.

The Minutemen flag is a musket and a lightning bolt. Why? Probably because we pray to Zeus or some shit, hell if I know.

I met this Preston Garvey impersonator once. The real one is ten feet tall and has an Irish accent, so be careful around fakes.

You drink beer, you think beer. You know what I’m thinking right now? B-E-E-R. Beer.

Hard liquor gets you drunk quicker, and sometimes, that’s what I do.
But when you got a fine lady such as Gwinnett here, you gotta takes things slow.

You ever drink root beer? Don’t. It’s a lie.

I never throw up when I drink. Why? Because I respect the beer gods.

We need more bars in this settlement. Like thirty of them.

Did you see that? Up in the sky! It was a flying saucepan piloted by a brisket! Look! There it is again!

Look at all these people, just gathering here for your amusement! I mean, really, what is this place, some kind of harem?

Sober Idles

Ergh, my headache is killing me.

Can someone turn that music down? My ears are ringing.

I don’t regret a thing I did last night. Mostly because I don’t remember it.

I’ve been with the Minutemen longer than I remember. It’s a good cause, with good beer, and good company.

I heard Colonel Hollis died in Quincy. Didn’t know him well, but people tell me he was a good man.

I met Preston Garvey back when he was just a recruit. Probably doesn’t remember me.

I used to be on the front lines. But after a few mishaps, the generals moved me to the radio division as punishment.
I still do some scouting from time to time though, when I’m not doing settlement stuff for you.

You wanna hear my radio sign off? It was something like “Radio Freedom and justice for all!” I know, pretty bad, right?

Ronnie’s a strong woman. She’s basically like a callous.

It takes a lot to earn Ronnie’s respect. Suffice to say I haven’t.

I tried to get clean once. But after a while I figured I didn’t need to be sober to do my job. So, here I am.

Have I ever been drunk on a mission? Maybe. But I’m still alive, and that’s more than most people can say.

There’s a lot of deserters out there. Hard to blame ’em after all we’ve been through.

A lot of the Minutemen are just regular people who took up arms. But that’s also what makes it special.

I’m not a big vegetable guy, but it’s not like we have a choice. Growing food’s a lot easier than hunting it.

Look, I like to have a good time. It’s not a crime. But if I step over the line, I’m sorry.

Hellos

General.

How’s it going, general?

Always good to see you General.

Hope things are going well out there.