Attention all personnel: Possible virus detected. Please take care not to infect any high-level executives or members of the office team. Thank you.

Toast loaded. Only one minute until your bread reaches toasty perfection!

Did you know? To get the full toast experience, you can purchase the Crust DLC, now on sale for only twice the cost of the bread!

Forty seconds remaining. Keep in mind that if your toast is unlicensed, a deadly virus will be injected into your system.

Twenty seconds remaining. It’s your last chance to buy additional toast options, like burnt or lightly browned! Check out our full catalog on the online store!

It’s almost time! Your toast will be ready in five, four, three, two, one…

Unlicensed copy detected! Disseminating virus!

Virus delivered. You are now dead. Thank you for purchasing Toasty! A factory toasted, microtransactional bread option. Enjoy your meal!

 

(Just in case I need to change the time duration)

Two minutes remaining.

One minute and thirty seconds remaining.

Thirty seconds remaining.

 

 

Previously recorded

 

 

ATTENTION ALL STAFF: Production is at critical levels.
QA Engineers, please report to the office floor for emergency interrogation.

 

Virus scan in progress.

 

Thank you.

 

To avoid embarrassing episodes, please clear your browser history before entering the scanner.

 

Due to recent updates to privacy legislation, invasion of your privacy is now protected by law.

 

Keep in mind that encrypting files in your hard drive is against factory policy.

 

Remember, any employee that carries a virus to the office level or executive suites will be terminated on sight and have their broom closet privileges revoked.

 

Please keep your visit to the office brief. All time spent outside the factory will be garnished from your wages.

 

You’ll be happy to know that our current scanner has reduced chances of irreversible brain damage to only 14%!

 

Virus scan is a registered trademark of the factory. Any use of the product outside company regulations is prohibited.

 

Virus scan identifies harmful malware with 79% accuracy, and avoids the crippling embarrassment of bathroom motor oil tests.

 

Have a nice day!