Here is the revamped Melea for v3.04.3. Although the original actor did a wonderful job, her voice was probably a little too old for this character, not to mention the dialogue itself needed some fine tuning.
The problem with an older voice, of course, is that it gave the impression her death was more of a natural turn of events, as opposed to something tragic. EvilSeedlet’s rendition sounds mature and worn down but not necessarily feeble, and it really gives a better sense that Melea is dying far too young.
Lovely; it certainly does make her character more tragic.
I’m sorry, I have to disagree on this one. The voice is beautiful, but I did like Melea better with a bit of an older voice; it seemed to fit better. Dunno, probably because I first encountered her character that way and it’s stuck in my brain now…
That happens, but I do think those associations will pass. When I first talked to Fjona with the new voice, it was jarring even to me, but now I can’t imagine any other person voicing her.
Melea was never meant to sound so old, it was a product of the times and having to get people’s sisters, aunts, and mothers to voice roles. It doesn’t jive well with having a daughter Henrietta’s age, and as I mention, the concept of dying too young.
The dialogue is less on rails as well – Melea being one of the first 10 characters, her dialogue was pretty linear – so the overall experience is much improved.
Understood and appreciated. Looking forward to getting used to it. (-_-)/
First, thanks for your performance and please don’t take this criticism too harshly as I’m just trying to be constructive and give some guidance, to the best of my abilities./ The first line doesn’t seem to be an answer to the question being asked. Maybe start with “Oh yes, that’s Henrietta, my baby girl.” / Second line: The “e” in she is too high. The “but” sounds like “buut”. I think it would be better to make it shorter. “I forgive her” is said too quickly and not clearly enough. / The line that starts with “And here I thought”: I think that this is said too quickly. I think it sounds better when lines have a a more measured rhythm. / There’s a pause after “my husband” and after “passed away”. There’s no reason to stop there. I think it would be better to stop at the period. / Overall, what I don’t like is the uneven and overly rapid rhythm which can be heard in all the lines. It often sounds like the actor is reading more than acting. For example, in the line “he told me it meant nothing… he betrayed my trust.”, the actor should sound angry here, but the performance is flat, so it sounds like reading. You can also hear the actor taking a breath at some point. It might be better to stop the recording, take a breath, and then put the mic back on.
Similar with the comment about Morviah, the problem with using trailer videos only to critique actors is you don’t get the whole context. The character she’s playing is sick, exhausted, and dying.
The man she’s referring to she’s long since forgiven and is also dead. Thus, the anger she delivers in that line is a lot more subtle. It would be a lot different delivery if say, it was a recent betrayal by a living man, being spoken by a healthy woman.
I guess that critiquing these trailers is pretty useless. Is there anything I could do to help with the mod? Maybe I could provide feedback on scripts or write some dialogue?
Well, it’s not completely useless, as I’ve made subtle changes based on your feedback. But it’s definitely a different thing to play the mod and critique that, because the videos only tell you so much. Even playing the mod, you won’t get the full story, because choices have to be made that are inevitably compromises that happen behind the scenes.
But that’s fine. A fresh perspective is valuable. Being unaware of the compromises is okay.
I generally don’t need help with scripts and things – I mean you could point out minor changes as you have if you feel they’re needed, but for the most part writing for the mod requires you to know every single character intimately or else there’s a risk of redundancy. Every time I make a new character I kind of have to do an internal cross-check to make sure I haven’t done something already. This way, everyone remains unique.