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Scientist and Drone

I don’t understand why this isn’t working.
The calculations were perfect. The algorithm, flawless!
I even washed my hands this time!

At this rate, we’ll have to delay launch of the Product.

Oh, and who’s going to tell ol’ Smaug? You?

I was thinking a Cluster could do it.

Of course, that’s your answer to everything.

 

A visitor? Now? Well, you’ll have to come back later.
Content lock is in a week, and we’re in the middle of some important science.

I’m here on behalf of QA. 
QA! Well, why didn’t you say so! Although I suppose you just did.
We definitely need some help squashing all these damn bugs!

 

 

 

What is the Product?
It’s toast.

Toast? Do you mean the Product is ruined?
No, I mean it’s toast. Bread.

 

 

This entire factory is designed to make…toast?
Not just any toast. That would be silly, and an insult to our investors.
What we make is, toast with microtransactions.

How does toast have microtransactions?
Well, you buy the bread, untoasted. To toast it, you need to pay.
Also the crust is held behind a paywall.

 

That sounds incredibly unethical.
Well, it’s not the factory’s fault. It was never our intent to go down this road.

Makes sense. You probably want to charge for the crumbs too.
Of course. Everything must be sold in pieces. Not that we have a choice in the matter.

The factory used to be able to sell toast at a reasonable price. But then, when inflation rose the price of everything else, for some reason, toast remained the same.
Of course, the factory tried to raise the price of toast once, to about half the original price after inflation.
But the consumers rebelled. They rioted in the streets with toasters in hand. So we had no choice but to adapt.
We would not raise the price of toast, but rather, charge for toast accessories.

I think consumers would be willing to pay more for toast if you cut the microtransactions.
That’s because you’re thinking rationally. But for whatever reason, they refuse.
They would rather pay less to get less, and make the choice to buy more later. Present bias is a powerful drug.
Granted, at some point, that’ll turn around, depending on how much we charge after they buy the base toast.
Just last week I was asked to investigate having the toast explode unless you first bought a subscription to the factory’s streaming channel.
Stuff like that definitely wanders into unethical territory. But it’s too late now. We’ve invested too much into this technology to turn back.

That actually makes sense.
Thank you for seeing logic. After all, the original idea for “alternate revenue sources” came from a good place.
Granted, since then it’s become about more than survival.

Save me the sob story. What you’re doing is pure greed, and you would’ve done it regardless of the base price of bread.
I don’t know about that. The original idea for “alternate revenue sources” came from a good place, to save the factory from bankruptcy.
But you’re right, it’s since become about more than survival.
Just the other day I was asked to investigate having the toast release toxic spores into the air unless you bought it a special horse armor.
So it’s definitely snowballed after the fact. But it all started with an angry consumer, and their demand for all things free.
And we can’t go back now. Not after we’ve invested so much in this technology.

I’d be on board if the added revenue was for better working conditions, not so you can keep the base price low. That’s a poor excuse.
Workers? Nobody cares about us. Our lives and well being are secondary to this holy whole tug of war.
It doesn’t matter what we make, who we make it for, and whether the consumer or the higher ups are happy.
I’ll be crunching until the day I die. And by the amount we crunch? That’ll come pretty soon.
Either way, it’s too late to stop the Product now. We’ve invested too much into it. In money and lives.

That hardly justifies creating a paywall for bread crust.
Maybe. I mean, we’ve definitely gone over the line. Our leadership has seen to that.
Just last week I was asked to investigate having the bread develop invisible mold that would kill you unless you had a factory subscription.
But for all the factory’s greed, the fundamental problem was created by the consumer.
If they’d just be willing to pay more for the base toast, the idea would have never germinated in the first place!
Now it’s just a snowball that nobody can stop. Because we can’t go back now. We’ve invested too much into this technology.

So this is technically all the consumer’s fault for getting angry about the base price?
Of course it is! Ever get angry about advertisements splattered all over a website?
Well, they’re only there because you won’t pay for a damn subscription!
Now, to be fair, I do realize that the higher ups have gone way overboard with some of this stuff.

 

How does the paywall work?
It’s a virus that infects both shapes and organics. It works by killing its host if you don’t have a licensed copy.
But it’s currently defective. I have both the Crust DLC and the extra spread options purchased, and it still infects test subjects at a rate of 99.9956%!
You can take a look at one such prototype on the table in the corner. Provided you don’t stick it into a toaster port, it should be safe to handle, protected by a Shaperton Anti-Virus shield.
The factory would probably kill me for using third party software, but the proprietary scan is terrible.
The one that scans you on the factory floor? Doesn’t even detect this virus.

Why toast? We don’t even eat.
We don’t, but the consumers do! Well, not the consumers, but their pets. There’s billions of those fleshy things out there. And they get very, very angry when they don’t get fed.

Hellos
There’s a lot of science to be done, and so little time to do it.

Science is one of the most noble pursuits you can have. Second only to profiting off it.

I got my doctorate degree from Shape City University. I didn’t need to go to some fancy private school to get where I am!

I consider the Product to be my magnum opus. It will undoubtedly be the pinnacle of corporate science! The pinnacle being determined by sales figures, naturally.

Scene 1

We could try vaccinating the subjects who purchase the DLC.

That would require the consumer to go to the hospital.

Ah, right. Our lobbyists did scrap the healthcare industry.

Yeah, that way the virus is more consequential

Scene 2

What if we put the virus in only a handful of copies?

The threat would still be there, but there’d be less infections.

It wouldn’t work. People would figure it out and take their chances.

Scene 3

 

 

What happened when you raised the base price of toast?
Mayhem. They don’t call it the Bread and Circus riots for nothing. Only there was no circus, only bread.

Fact is, the Product alone doesn’t pay the bills anymore. And this is even with working everyone to death.

Not that anyone cares what happens to us.

I’ve come to a decision regarding your research.
Oh yeah? And what’s that?

Continue on. You guys are doing great work.
Thanks. We still have a ways to go to get this thing ready for launch, but we’ll do our best.

Actually, let me consult with my friend real quick.

I want you to stop all microtransaction and paywall research. Try and figure out a way to make a profit without it.
What? On whose authority?

[Art] Forget who authorized it. You’re more than a scientist, you’re an artist with a legacy. Do you want this to be yours?

[Malice] On the authority of the laser cannon I have attached to my chassis.
What cannon? I don’t see any cannon. I think you’re bluffing.

We proceed as planned.

Well, I don’t see a cannon, but you newer models tend to hide conceal carry and have quick tempers, so I know better than to call you a liar.

[Compassion] On ethical grounds. This rampant greed needs to stop.

[Science] None. But the technology in this factory is incredibly advanced. It can be re-purposed into something that benefits society. 
Yeah, tell that to our esteemed CEO, see if he doesn’t fire you for insubordination. Me, I’m doing whatever I can to keep my job.

Well, you are right about one thing. Some of history’s greatest inventions were made from completely unrelated scientific discoveries.
Maybe this technology wasn’t meant to make microtransactions for toast. Maybe there’s some better.

[Humor] By the authority of the Shape City Governing Board of uh…Microtransactional Research. Yeah. Nailed it.
[Success] The SCGBMR? They’re shutting us down? Damnit, and we were so close.

[Failure] I don’t believe you. Half of the SCGBMR is on our payroll. When it comes to the regulators, the old sphere never lets anything to chance.