https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pf-DrTNK_T4
You’re late. Didn’t I tell you this was urgent?
Hold on…you’re not Tommy’s cousin. Who are you? What are you doing here?
I just stumbled into this place.
Shit, I’m supposed to believe you just walked right in here?
Well, either way, you’re here and he’s not, so you might as well help.
Well, either way, you’re here and she’s not, so you might as well help.
I’m his other cousin. You know, the one neither of you have ever met.
Bullshit. I know all of Tommy’s cousins, and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You’re no apple. Shit, you’re not even a fruit.
But I suppose it doesn’t matter. You’re here, and I’ll take whatever help I can get.
Sorry, didn’t know you were here. If you like, I can leave the way I came.
It’s too late. You’re already here, so you might as well stay and help.
I go wherever the fuck I please, and you’re in my way.
I’m in your way? This is my fucking house.
But shit, I like your style. Right now I need someone to take charge. It might as well be you.
Starts walking to the bathroom
I bet it must’ve come as a shock to open the door and see Casey fucking Clarkson on the other side.
Well, this isn’t American Top 40. If you want a fucking autograph, it’ll have to wait until after we deal with this.
reaches tub. There’s a corpse inside.
Look at this stupid chem-addled fuck, floating in my tub.
You’re a shitberg, you hear me! You’re a fucking iceberg made of shit!
And if you can’t hear me, I’m gonna go on my goddamn radio show and make a long distance dedication, straight to fucking hell!
forcegreets player
All right, now here’s what we’re gonna do. The cops are gonna be here any minute now.
They’re gonna want to know about my friend here. You’re gonna tell them you invited him over.
I’m not doing anything of the sort.
Look, I’m not saying you have to take the rap for his death.
The guy had one too many chems. It’s an open and shut case.
What’s in it for me?
If you haven’t noticed, you’re in a goddamn penthouse. I didn’t get here scrubbing the floors of some motherfucking soup kitchen.
You do this for me, and I’ll make sure you’re taken care of. Casey Clarkson doesn’t forget his friends.
There hasn’t been any police in this town since the Pre-War days.
Tell that to them when they get here. I’m sure Detectives Balls and Buster will be real happy to know they don’t exist.
I’m not saying anything until you explain to me how this man died.
What, you think I killed him? It was chems, Einstein. The kid took more than he could handle.
Why can’t you just tell them the truth?
I’m Casey Clarkson. I’m the voice of American Top 40.
You can drag my name through the mud, but I’m not going to let someone tarnish an entire institution with some wild tale about drugs and sodomy.
Can you tell me where we are?
What kind of question is that? We’re in my apartment. The one you’re gonna tell the cops I lent you.
What exactly do you want me to say?
When the cops come, you just tell them I lent you my apartment.
We can say I was touched by a dedication you made on air.
So imagine my shock to find out you brought this man over and did god knows what in my tub.
The cops file a report, ambulance takes the body, you go home with me owing you a favor.
Who called the police?
It was me. One of my neighbors called the house and I picked up the phone thinking it was Tommy.
Now that they know I was here, I have to make it seem like I walked in, saw the body, and called the police.
So yeah, they’re on their way.
police enter
Remember, stick to the story.
talk to police
Detectives, I’m so glad you could come on short notice.
Well, it’s not every day the voice of American Top 40 calls us about a body.
Hey, I am just as shocked as you are. When I came back from vacation in the Bahamas, the last thing I was expecting was this.
You go out there often?
Oh yeah, I own a little cabana out there by the ocean.
I need to get me one of those. But hard to do on my salary. Where’s the body?
In the bathtub.
All right, let’s take a look.
walk to body
cops interrogate player, if player sides with Casey
You’re doing great kid. But we’re not out of the woods yet.
What’s next?
Well, Tommy’s cousin was supposed to bring over the dope, so we’re gonna need to replace that.
If you don’t have anything on you, I’ve got some on the shelf, stashed behind a carton of cigarettes.
It may not be as good as Tommy’s stuff, but it looks the part. I need you to plant it on the body. And hurry!
cops go to Casey
I’m afraid we’re gonna have to take you down to the station Casey.
Why? I’ve told you everything I know.
You have, but there’s some inconsistencies with your story. For one, I don’t see any evidence of chem use.
With all due respect detective, my friend here saw the man using. Why don’t you check the body again?
All right, fine.
player doesn’t side with Casey
You’re fucking it up for the both of us kid. But as long as they’re focusing on me, you can still do some good.
Go grab my gun from the pedestal in the next room and bring it here. And hurry!
Well, did you get the gun?
Frankly, I don’t think giving you a weapon is a good idea.
Goddamnit, I’ll have you know you’re putting a piece of America at risk here!
Not yet.
Well hurry up!
Yeah, I got the gun. Here you go.
Great. You might wanna arm yourself too. Here they come.
Casey survives
This isn’t the way I wanted this to go down, but I had no choice.
America needs me. It needs Top 40 radio.
I couldn’t disagree more.
Ha, well, I suppose I can’t win ’em all. Besides, I’m not paying you to have an opinion.
Here, this should be enough cash to buy your own radio station.
It’s an American institution. Just like you.
So you’re a fan of my work! Good to hear.
But for this job, I think you deserve more than a dedication and an autograph. Here.
Sure, whatever. Now it’s time to discuss my fee.
Of course. I could give you the number of my agent, or set you up with a movie star, but I think you’re the type who likes cold hard cash.
Here’s enough green to fill your mattress. Hell, you could probably sleep on the money instead.
Don’t beat yourself up. I had a lot of fun.
Hey, you’re all right. I admit, when you showed up at my door, I had some reservations.
But I think you’ve more than earned this money. Here. Spend it how you please.
Thanks. Any idea on how to get out of here?
What do you mean? You just walk out the door.
This isn’t money. We use bottlecaps in the wastes.
Bottlecaps? Hahaha, now that’s rich. But if that’s what you want, I think there’s a soda machine outside the building.
Actually, the building’s in shambles, and one of the doors is still locked.
Locked, huh. Funny you should say that, because the other day I found this key in my pocket.
I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was for. But hey, maybe you can use it.
Anyways, I gotta stay here and give Tommy a ring. Then I’m gonna give him an earful.
Don’t worry. Tommy will know what to do with the bodies.
You’ve not only saved my job, but you’ve saved an American institution. Top 40 radio, baby, there’s nothing on earth like it.
if player fakes planting drugs
Sorry Casey, I don’t see anything. And you still haven’t explained the blood.
You can’t do this. I’m Casey fucking Clarkson! I’m the voice of Top 40 radio!
You’re also under arrest.
Over my dead body you dirty fucking pinko!
If player plants drugs.
Huh.
What is it?
Well, I must be getting sloppy. I owe you an apology, Top 40. This guy was definitely loading up.
Hey, don’t even sweat it. Mistakes happen. What’s important is someone’s family just lost someone they love.
You gonna make a dedication on air, Casey?
Of course. Even chem fiends have families. When you ID the man, just let me know who his mother is, and I’ll take care of the rest.
You’re a good man Casey. A bonafide institution.
No, detective. I’m just doing what any good American would do.
forcegreet
You did a fine job kid. We swept this pile of dust right under the rug, and you my friend, are one hell of a broom.
More importantly, we saved my show. And in good times and bad, America needs Top 40 radio.
Radio spots
Hello and welcome to American Top 40. I’m your host Casey Clarkson, and together we’re gonna count down the top 40 songs of the week.
This week starts off with a complete unknown, and I mean that quite literally.
“Let’s Go Sunning” is a song that’s composed by Jack Shaindlin, but one listen and it’s pretty clear he’s not the one singing.
So who is this mystery artist? You’ll have to ask Jack.
(play song)
Welcome back. Counting down to number 27 in this week, it’s time for a special, long distance dedication.
This is about love, friendship, and man’s best friend.
It’s from Madison in Hickory, North Carolina, and he writes:
Dear Casey, recently we suffered a death in the family. He was a little golden retriever named Chuckles.
Chuckles was my best friend through most of my teenage years. He was always there waiting for me when I got him. That is, until the day he wasn’t.
I feel like I’ve lost a part of me I can never get back. But if Chuckles taught me anything, it’s that no matter how much rain falls, someday the sun will shine.
Madison goes on to ask that we to dedicate song number 27 (Interrupted by sound effect: NUMBER 27!!!!) That’s right, number 27 is dedicated to his dog Chuckles, so that wherever he is, he’ll know Madison’s thinking about him.
You’re listening to a countdown of the most popular songs in America.
I’m Casey Clarkson, and I promise you, the show won’t stop until we get to number one.
This next song is what we at the Top 40 call an old fashioned comeback story.
You see, just a few years ago the charts didn’t go past 30, and a lot of great songs went unnoticed. One of them was this little tune composed by Carl Sigman, with lyrics by Bob Russell.
But it’s the singer who really makes the record. You may have heard of her. Her name is Billie Holiday.
Here she is at number 33 with “Crazy He Calls Me.”
At number 14 this week is a a show tune from the 1949 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, “South Pacific.”
It’s about a gal who has difficulties accepting her lover’s mixed-race children, until she comes to a realization that none of that matters. And it’s that epiphany that inspires her to sing this tune. It’s Tex Beneke and Margaret Whiting with “A Wonderful Guy.”