Greetings, human! Welcome to the room that is property of Charles!

It’s nice to meet you, Charles.
Likewise, human. Charles feels that a shaking of hands is in order.

This isn’t your property, and I’m here to tell you why.
No, there is no why. There is only where. Here is where. Where Charles lives.

No need for introductions. I’d rather not humanize the person I’m going to kill.
You mistake Charles for bad man. Charles does not want blood. He wants clean sheets and firm mattress.

There seems to be a misunderstanding regarding the goods you purchased.
No misun…no misundah…ergh…Charles no wrong. Woman sell room, Charles buy. One hundred caps.

Yes, but it’s one hundred caps for one night. You’re renting, not buying.
Charles no get. When mutant wants, he takes with club. When human wants, he takes with caps. Is this not way?

Renting is like temporary ownership. You take it, use it, then give it back.
Hm…then does Charles get his caps back?

Yes. Here’s 100 caps. But you’ll need to leave the room immediately.
Very well human. We have deal. Charles is happy he no have to use club.

No, Charles doesn’t get his caps back.
Then Charles stays.

You paid for sex, not property.
Charles pay for room! Ask anyone! They tell you!

Okay, okay, I get it. You don’t need to pay for sex. You were clearly tricked.
Charles is happy with room. He not know what sex is.

There’s no shame in paying for it. I do it all the time.
Feeble human might pay, but Charles want room. That is what he give caps for.
Charles does not even know what other thing is.

Face it. An ugly bastard like you can’t get it without paying.
What is this sex you keep telling Charles he must pay for? It cannot be better than room.

I’ve asked multiple people actually and they all agree you’re a deadbeat.
Those people lie! If Charles did not buy room, what did he buy? What is this sex you speak of?

Woman sell woman. Room is where Charles get good time.
But Charles like room, not woman! What woman give him that better than room?

Woman give him plenty more than room ever could. You see.
Really? Maybe puny human is right. Room is not that great anyway, but Charles does not want to look like he made bad purchase.
Truth is, Charles prefer vaulted ceiling.
Fine. Charles will take woman. But if you lie to Charles, he crush you.

Why don’t you lie down and I’ll show you.
What can puny human do to Charles that better than big, empty room? This better not be trick.

Well, there’s birds, and bees, and then you get to second base and…
Charles no like any of those things. Room stay put. Room soft!

 

The terms of the agreement were clear. As your lawyer, I suggest you settle.
Charles…he no get what come out of human’s mouth.  What woman give him that better than room?

if player gets Charles laid

Charles…he is not sure what human did. But he very, very relaxed.

So I trust you got your money’s worth?
Yes. Charles feels he compen…compensay…Charles got what he pay for. He go home now.

Just wait until you discover masturbation.
Charles has much to learn, and much to tell.

Humanity comes with a lot of perks.
Yes, Charles was right to listen to human. They are puny, but wise.

Charles go home now. He will tell others about the humans.

Charles go home now. He leave no poorer than he came.