BROTHER

Hey bub. You thinking about crossing my bridge?
Well, you’re in luck. I’m having a sale. Just 50 caps for a lifetime pass.

You do realize I can just walk under it, right?
That’s not a good idea bub. My sister runs that operation, and it’s as shoddy as a three day old scab.

Just fifty caps? That sounds too good to be true.
It’s not. Normally I’d charge five hundred, but the bitch under the bridge has been undercutting my prices.

Or I could just shoot you.
You don’t wanna do that bub. I got a bomb strapped to my chest. You kill me, you get your ass blown off.
But maybe you like blowing ass. If so, then by all means, take the low road.

What’s wrong with going under the bridge?
For one, you got needles and broken bottles under your feet, barrels of toxic waste in the corner. and piss, shit, and vomit everywhere else.
But if you take my bridge, you get to walk on the sturdiest concrete money can buy, certified by the US government.
Sure, the prices are higher, but what you have to ask yourself is, how much is my life really worth?
If it’s more than fifty caps, then you ought to treat yourself to my bridge.

Who runs the operation down below?
That would be my sister. The greedy little cunt heard about how much I was raking in, and couldn’t leave well enough alone.
She’s been like this ever since we was kids. Always trying to copy her big bro. Never had an idea of her own.

All right, here’s fifty caps. 
Pleasure doing business with you.

Hellos/Goodbyes
Yeah?
It’s fifty caps to cross, unless you got a pass.
My sister’s running a scam down below. Don’t listen to anything that comes out of her mouth.
You want to travel with class, you use my bridge.
See ya.

 

SISTER

Didn’t want to pay my brother, huh? Smart. You don’t need that overpriced bullshit. I’ll let you cross for just nineteen caps.

Or I could just go around.
Why the fuck would you wanna do that? You know that fastest way to get from A to B, don’cha? It’s a straight line, not a goddamn figure eight.

I don’t even know who your brother is.
He’s the walking bag of dicks standing atop this bridge. And he’ll do everything he can to fuck you.

You can’t charge me a toll for land you don’t own.
Sure I can. It’s a free country ain’t it? Well, except for you. You gotta pay.

Why nineteen?
Because it sounds ten caps cheaper than twenty. Secret is, it ain’t.

How is your operation different than your brother’s?
In the only way it matters. Price. Sure, he got that fancy pants bridge, but it’ll cost you more than twice the caps.
So unless you’re one of them top hat wearing motherfuckers who likes sniffing his own farts, you’re much better off paying me.

So unless you’re one of them top hat wearing motherfuckers who likes sniffing her own farts, you’re much better off paying me.

All right. Here’s nineteen caps.
You just made the best decision of your life.

Hellos/Goodbyes
What’s up?
Smart buyers come through me.
For the price my brother’s charging, you can get two passes from me. One for you and a friend.
Later.

Killed that son of a bitch, huh? You beat me to it.