Set VNiptonCodeBox.iOliverRuns to 3 vfreeformthefort.bmetvulpes == 0

I won the lottery once. Wasn’t half as excited as that guy though. Probably because I didn’t have the right chems.

 

vfreeformthefort.bmetvulpes == 1, vulpes not dead

Damn, the Legion took a big old shit on this town and didn’t bother to wipe. But what goes around comes around, bucko. Today’s shitter is tomorrow’s toilet.

vfreeformthefort.bmetvulpes == 1,  vulpes not dead

That was one hell of a dance, bucko. But you put a man on the cross, and karma’s putting you in the crosshairs.

Nipton

Never could wrap my ahead around the Legion code. If a man cheats on his wife, he gets a disease. That’s karma.
But the Legion, they’ll tie up your nuts with fishing line and throw you off a cliff.
Don’t know what kills you first, losing your balls or hitting ground. What I do know is, that’s some fucked up shit.

Mojave Outpost

Heard there’s a “Ranger Ghost” hanging out on the rooftops here. Guess that makes this place haunted.

Matthews Animal Husbandry Farm

Looks like this farm burned down. Don’t know how the Brahmin survived, but it’s a good thing they did. Nothing worse than a well done steak.

vms43 stage 10 done

So Camp Searchlight got ghouled. Probably never saw it coming. Radiation’s sneaky like that.

VMS44 stage 10/15/20

We get these suits and we get into Searchlight. Who knows what we’ll find. Supplies, probably. Weapons, maybe. Ghouls? You bet your ass we will.

elseif LoganREF.GetDead == 1 && GetStage VMS44 == 50

Seems like our friend Logan bit off more than he could chew. You know how I can tell? All that radiation made his teeth glow.

SLGoldMine02Int

Ever hear about gold fever? Let’s hope it’s not contagious.

SLGoldMine01Int

Viper gangs did well for themselves. Found a nice big cave without a single Deathclaw. If only they could figure out how to lock the front door.

Clark Field

So are golden geckos made of actual gold? I got a tooth that could use a filling.

vms03 helios

The old ones worshiped the sun, but that never caught on with the modern man. But you power that man’s microwave, and you’ll having him praying from sunup to sundown.

 

OLD LINES

A bounty hunter once told me there’s two things you can’t escape. Death and taxes.
That’s why he always asked for receipts. Cause when you kill for a living, the bullets are tax deductible.

Desperate times call for desperate actions. But it ain’t your brain making that call. It’s your balls.

Every day the world keeps spinning, and karma right along with it.
Two to tango? Shit, try two billion. That’s how many people are doing this dance.

Chems are a bonding force. They’re the universal language, spoken by people of all creeds and color.
Doesn’t matter who you are, or where you’re from. When the words travel through our bloodstreams we know each other as kin.

We’re all guilty of something, and in the end, everyone gets caught. But with karma, you don’t always know it.

I don’t like targeting systems. It’s like gambling with your aim, and I ain’t much of a diceman.
One minute you’re Doc Holliday, ass-fucking mosquitoes with your bullets.
The next you’re a dumb, blinking gecko, staring down the throat of a deathclaw.

Lady luck is a harsh mistress, my friend. She’ll kiss you at the altar, and the next thing you know, she’s got the house and the kids.
Karma doesn’t make any promises. It doesn’t deal with lawyers. It’s cold, hard math. Now that’s something I can believe in.

Today’s weird is tomorrow’s norm. So we’re not freaks, buckaroo, we’re just ahead of the curve.

You turn your back on a man, he might stab you in the gut, sure…but he also might pat you on the shoulder.
You turn your back on a chem, and it’s up your ass and gnawing on your organs in two seconds flat.
But that’s why God invented the donor system. Just let me know if you kill a raider who’s my blood type.

One thing I’ve learned during my time in the wastes – the truth is never told sober.

Crazy is like a drum, banging the inside of your skull.
So the psycho with the lead pipe? He’s not trying to beat you, he’s trying to communicate.

Law and order is like that old Indian proverb. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
At heart, maybe I’m a raider. But you live by their rule, and you’ll be swimming in karmic quicksand.

Don’t shoot for the moon, shoot for the vein.

Paranoia is another word for being too smart for your own good.

Doing chems is like turning your eyeballs around and getting a look inside your head.

You know how fucked up this country is? We once elected a guy named “Dick Richardson” President.
That’s right, the guy’s name was literally “Penis Cockboy” and we thought he’d make a good leader.

Hickory, dickory, dock, the Wastes can suck my cock.

Fuck, what time is it? It’s so hot I don’t know whether to scratch my canteen or drink my ass.

Shit, I gotta piss so bad my eyeballs are treading water.

You’re keeping real busy. Busier than a one-armed monkey with three peckers. I like that.

Might want to slow down the pace, buckaroo. We’re moving faster than a knife fight in a closet. And my lungs aren’t built for speed.

Here’s another idea I pulled out from the anus homeworld. Solar-powered sunglasses.
Regular glasses most of the time, shades when you need ’em.

Sometimes I like to repeat myself. That’s no accident. That’s the circle at work, amigo.
Well, it’s either the circle or brain damage.
That’s what happens when your brain goes pop. Sometimes you like to repeat yourself.

I think today was productive. We cleaned up a few streets, helped some needy kids, and planted a tree.
Oh wait, that was some other guy. Don’t worry, I shot him.

Sometimes things in life get heavy, and you don’t want to deal with it. I get it. But that’s why god invented Buffout.

They say a good cowboy comes right out the womb. Guess who put him there.

Ever been to the shore? Strange things wash up from time to time. Sorry about that, most of that shit is mine.

“Stick the needle where the sun don’t shine.” That’s an old voodoo proverb.
I gotta try that the next time I shoot up. Right in the dick.

Ever laugh so hard you shit yourself? Not saying I have, just saying some chems should come with a warning label.

In baseball, if someone fucks up real bad they call him a goat.
If it goat fucks up real bad, what do the other goats call him?
You can’t call him a goat. That’s not an insult, it’s a fact.

I saw a bunch of tap dancers in Vegas once. Always funnier if you imagine someone shooting at them.

Some people like to call vaults “tombs.” So I guess that makes vault dwellers zombies.

There’s an old Chinese proverb, “When one door closes another opens.”
East or west, north or south…it’s all one big merry-go-round.

An old Chinese proverb says “God helps those who help themselves.”
Well, I’ll just help myself to some chems, thank you very much.
And if we don’t reach nirvana by nightfall, maybe God can take care of the rest.

You sure about that?
Okay. I’ll be waiting there if you need me.
Gotcha.
You’re the boss.

location idles 

the coordinates are for my personal benefit

-13, -23
This is a Jackal gang hideout. It’s customary in these parts to eat the vanquished. Not saying you should, but that’d be the polite thing to do.

 Gs General store
Any store worth its balls keeps the guns behind the counter. Meaning that pea-shooter up front ain’t worth shit.

NCRCF

You give a killer a stick of dynamite, chances are he’ll throw it right back at you. Of course, I doubt whoever gave the order caught any of the blowback.
No, I’d bet my ass that guy got a promotion.