Audrey – Black

Margaret – Blue

Mr. Handy – Green

Two immortals, Audrey(ghoul) and her sister(synth) Margaret arrive at their old house to claim their inheritance. However, to get the safe, they have to pass some tests to prove they worked together as a family.

They arrive

Here we are. The old summer home. It’s just as tacky as I remember it.

Who cares. The terminal for the code is on the wall there. My number is 47.

All right, I’ll enter the full code now. What is it you think we’ll find anyway?

I don’t know. Gold, jewels, baseball cards. It could be anything. The old man was a secretive. 

We must’ve had different fathers. The one I remember would go out of his way to tell you about his exploits.

Only when he was drunk.

That should do it. Shall we?

You first. This body is slow and cumbersome.

go inside

Congratulations on entering the safe room. Your father would’ve been very pleased you managed to make it this far.
Of course, there’s no guarantee the five of you worked together, and as such, further proof is needed.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

As you’ll note, there are five rooms in this house, each with a self-contained test designed specifically for the five of you. Pass them all, and you will unlock the main safe.

Except there’s only two of us here.

Don’t bother. It’s a recording. It’s a miracle this piece of scrap even functions after all this time.

Now go forth, sirs and madames, and reap the rewards that can only come from working together! 

So the entire house is a safe. I assume cracking our puzzles will be easy. The rest will take some ingenuity. We’ll have to act like our siblings. Or even worse, think like them.

I’ll leave that to you and your friend. You were always mocking everyone’s mannerisms, perhaps that might pay off here.

Well, I assume the kitchen will be Barnaby’s. He was a fine chef. God only knows why he chose to have his servants cook for him instead.

Arthur’s test will likely be the stage room. He always enjoyed a good play.

Antoinette’s I assume will be in her bedroom. Something violent, I presume.

My test will likely involve some sort of robotics or science experiment, so I’ll head over to the lab. I suppose we should meet in the living room when we’re done. 

Hellos
You’ve got your job, and I’ve got mine. We’ll meet in the living room when it’s over.

Let’s move on to the next test, shall we?

puzzle 1 – Baking (note to self, lock other rooms when puzzle is in progress)

Test 1. Baking. Barnaby, if you would please make father’s favorite meal.

Ah, I believe that would be squirrel stew. It’s a joke really. Barnaby called father a squirrelly man, and cooked it for him without ever telling him the contents.
I never really knew if father liked the stew or not, or if he knew what Barnaby was up to.
I suppose in the end, he didn’t care. He just wanted to spend time with his son.

But enough sentiment. The recipe should be here somewhere. And one other thing I should mention. Some ingredients might no longer exist, as well as some measurements.
So we can’t be sure the wasteland recipe is the same.

A lot of ingredients will be laid out on the table. Player must put correct items into the pot. The recipe will be available, but it will say 1 potato and 1 tomato, which will require 2x tatos. The water on the recipe will be 4 cups, which is equal to 2 bottled waters. 

Bloodleaf
Carrot
water x2
Squirrel bits
Tatos x2

Audrey’s Hints:
The wasteland version calls for boiling bottles of water. If I’m not mistaken, I think one cup is half a bottled water.

The original recipe might have included tomatoes and potatoes. A hybrid of that would work, but half a potato and half a tomato aren’t one of either.

No, that doesn’t seem to be right.

Hopefully the Mr. Handy hasn’t noticed we made the wrong stew.

Congratulations Barnaby! You’ve passed your portion of the test. Please proceed to the next phase.

puzzle 2 – Drama play

The stage room. So what will this test be. I assume it’d be the Bard or something from that time period.

For this test, you will need to perform the play, “The Silver Shroud!”

Of course. It would have to be a comic book. Arthur memorized them all because he knew it would bother me to no end.

All right. The show starts when you step on the stage.
Unfortunately, I’ll need you to read the lines, darling. I couldn’t possibly do it justice.
Don’t worry, if you get stuck, just spout out the most incomprehensible nonsense you can think of and you’ll be fine.

start play

What do you want, stranger? Can’t you see I’m busy selling drugs to kids?

(I don’t care) I don’t care. Just keep out of my way.
Response not recognized. Aborting program.

(Who are you?)Who are you supposed to be?
(duplicate response, no need to record, just more wrong answers)

(Bad idea)Bad idea. Unless you really wanna piss me off.
(duplicate response, no need to record, just more wrong answers)

(This ends villain) Peddling poison to kids are we? You have taken your last life, villain!
I don’t think so. I can poison as many children as I want and no one can stop me. Because in Boston, the mob owns the police.

next player response

(Why do this?)Of all the ways to make caps, why this?
(duplicate response, no need to record, just more wrong answers)

(Selling to kids is wrong) Selling chems to kids is just wrong.
(duplicate response, no need to record, just more wrong answers)

(I’m not police)There’s a bounty on your head. I came here to put an end to you.
(duplicate response, no need to record, just more wrong answers)

(Your crimes cannot stand)
Your crimes have gone unpunished for too long! But today you face the Silver Shroud!
Ah, the Dark Dick himself. I’d thought you’d be taller.
And if you think someone as short as yourself can stop me, then you’re as foolish as the human who designed that getup.

next player response

(I’m gonna kill you) I’m the last human you’re ever gonna lay eyes on.
(duplicate response, no need to record, just more wrong answers)

(Shut up!) 

(Fuck you!) 

(You dare defy justice?)
It is not wise to stand between the Silver Shroud and righteous justice!
Ah, but there’s another thing standing between you and justice. This helpless child, Timmy.
And if you want to punish me, you’ll have to kill him to do it. For I’ve taken him hostage!

next player response

(The craven shall fall)
You shield yourself behind an innocent. You are craven and you shall fall before me.
We’ll see about that!

It looks like that did the trick. And just in the nick of time. Any longer and I would’ve shot you myself.

Congratulations Arthur! You’ve passed your portion of the test. Please proceed to the next phase.

Shall we?

puzzle 3

Antoinette had anger issues. She reminds me of a feral ghoul. Or rather, ghouls remind me of her.

If you’re ready to start the test, press the button on the wall there.

radiation pipes in

Your geiger counter seems to have lost its mind. Which means we have to work quickly.
I’m guessing the key is in that metal pinata. Destroy it and let’s get out of here.

Congratulations Antoinette! You’ve passed your portion of the test. Please proceed to the next phase.

That’s all the tests. Let’s meet back with Margaret in the living room.

So it looks like all that’s left is your room Audrey. I can’t wait to see what horrors await inside.

Don’t worry Margaret, I doubt it’s anything I haven’t shown you already. Not that you were paying attention. Let’s go.

go inside room, single holotape on table

***

For the past forty years I have watched my five children do nothing but squabble and fight over sleights perceived and imagined. Yet perhaps the fault is mine, for failing to teach them the value of family. However, even now, as I lay sick and dying, I feel it is not too late, for them, and for me.

Over the past decade, while seeking to prolong my life, I have discovered something far more valuable than wealth and fortune. There is a man here in Boston whose agelessness rivals that of Dorian Gray himself, but without the magical painting told in Oscar Wilde’s fanciful tale. No, this discovery is undoubtedly a feat of science, and a gift of second life.

Yet despite all it promises, I will not, cannot give this gift to my children, not as they are now. There is nothing I find more detestable than imagining another century of family turmoil. No, they will have to earn their second chance.

However, should they let go of their animosity and agree to share the spoils, then they will find not only the serum, but through ingenuity and teamwork, the means to analyze and reproduce it.

Audrey, you’ve always had a gift with words. So this is your test. Make peace with your siblings, and help them make peace with each other. Watch over them through good times and bad, for this is only the first step in a long and arduous journey. 

But if you make that journey together, I believe the five of you can strip immortality of its curse. Apart, you will find it is a fate worse than death. 

Regardless, whatever you decide, know that I love you, and I only wanted the best for you all.

***

What’s this? A room with a holotape? I just had to disable three assaultrons before they ripped me to shreds, and this is all that’s waiting for you?

Congratulations Audrey! You’ve passed your portion of the test. The door to the safe is open.

I suppose that’s that then. Should we listen to the holotape?

Let’s just go. Anything made for you I have no interest in exposing myself to.

get to final door

So, would you like to do the honors?

Gladly.

open safe

What the hell? All this for a single vial?

Let’s not jump to conclusions, sister. Father was nothing if not a predictable man.

This vial is a special serum developed by a friend of your fathers. Contained inside are the secrets of immortality itself.

Immortality? Ha! Well, this is a fine joke.

You don’t say. I suspected the prize was worthless, but it’s even worse than that. It’s ironic.

I am sorry to interrupt your joyous celebration, but I must inform you that I have now fulfilled my duties as guardian of your father’s estate. Good luck to all of you.